RSS

Cleopatra and Alexandria and Sawyer in my Fortress of Solitude

Now who are these three additions to my sweet sweet life?

These are the some really persistent visitors. To understand them one really has to understand a bit about my room

train view

I chose it on an impulse. All my friends including Sidney and Kate got rooms in this really secluded corridor and wanted me to get one there too. So I enter this room, and at a whim I go, bam I want it. The energies felt just right. I mean..it still doesn’t have *It’s my room* sorta feeling but it has a beautiful air about it. Although later day by day I found the closet was all dented, the fans made one hell of a noise and the view from the window….just wasn’t that mouth-watering. But I guess these are the small imperfections that make someone or something just so damn perfect. And patience.. I guess it pays off too

Cleopatra

So I have a visitor who comes by everyday. I remember when she first came I was terrified. I thought she was gonna harm me and sting me in the ass but..she didn’t. She just comes around and stays for a few minutes, and leaves. I love Cleopatra. I love that small angry orange wasp that scares the hell out of my friends

Wasp

Alexandria

And then there is Alexandria. She is my wake up call. She comes every time the gods of slumber smile upon me and coo the hell out of them. I don’t know whether she sits above my window, or on the block right next to my building, I dunno I have never seen her but all I know is, on college days this bird wakes me up the moment I wanna get that five-minute extra sleep and on the Sunday she won’t let me miss the special breakfast they serve. And any chance of prolonging that afternoon nap? I DON’T THINK SO

Bird shadow

Sawyer

Okay, Sawyer (took it from Lost, my all time fav show) is a discrete fella. I don’t get to see him everyday but he too scared me a bit the first time. I mean when I saw that tiny jet black spider crawling over my WiFi went still for a few minutes. But I see him now and again and we pass by like strangers. Lol. I sound so cuckoo. But when at night the full moon shines directly on my bed, lighting up my room with this soft silvery glow…it just feels divine and all the crap in my life, if there is any, just evaporates in the sounds of my snores. Lol

Spider art

I don’t snore btw =_=

Well, it’s fun to be crazy sometimes. As long as you don’t tell your mom about it

Love. Haib

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on May 16, 2014 in Incidents, Medicine: Year 3

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Human

cliff,dark,faith,falling,girl,jump,leap,nature,rain,rock,silhouette,sky,stormy,sunset,woman-46824072d9eed59244faef612910c0c4_m

I did my best to notice
When the call came down the line
Up to the platform of surrender
I was brought, but I was kind

And sometimes I get nervous
When I see an open door
Close your eyes, clear your heart
Cut the cord..

Are we human or are we dancer?
My sign is vital, my hands are cold
And I’m on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human or are we dancer?

Pay my respects to grace and virtue
Send my condolences to good
Give my regards to soul and romance
They always did the best they could

And so long to devotion
You taught me everything I know
Wave goodbye, wish me well
You’ve gotta let me go..

Are we human or are we dancer?
My sign is vital, my hands are cold
And I’m on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human or are we dancer?

Will your system be alright
When you dream of home tonight?
There is no message we’re receiving
Let me know, is your heart still beating?…

Are we human or are we dancer?
My sign is vital, my hands are cold
And I’m on my knees looking for the answer

You’ve gotta let me know
Are we human or are we dancer?
My sign is vital, my hands are cold
And I’m on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human or are we dancer?

Are we human or are we dancer?
Are we human or are we dancer?

The Killers

 
2 Comments

Posted by on May 11, 2014 in Balderdash Thoughts

 

Tags: , , , ,

Pick a card, any card

 

Pick a card

So it all comes down to this. Making a choice. Getting to a decision. Turning iron heart and let that hate enter your veins again. God, it hasn’t been so long since my blood was all clean..

Three years, I have had three years now. Blogging my life away. Writing stories, making up poems, disguising my feelings into sultry words, Sometimes being brutally honest, sometimes just angrily cryptic. Then slowly dissolving away in front of the very eyes of mine and those I got acquainted with. Friends… is a very loose term indeed

I don’t know what happened. The other day I was travelling on the bus and it just hit me in the face. What is happening? How could I let my world slip away and re-form me? How could it mould me the way it wanted? Where did I slip away? Did I fall behind, Did I walk fast or am I just lost in the crowd that I don’t see anyone else anymore? Where is that faith? Where is that trust? Where is all that hope and fantasy?

Sometimes it feels as if, maybe, I am looking myself truly for the first time. Bare and solitary. Without the assorted dreams and exceptions I ever had. Things haven’t died in me to the very extent, yes, but I don’t see that soul in me, that tender thing I cherished so much. It’s all anger and the practicality hardening me inside out. Truth be told.. I don’t even mind anymore

Three years. Met two great writers and people. EMK and APB…and a few others who just stopped blogging…

I just hope someday I vanish myself. But…seriously… apart from my cynical crap.. Life’s not bad. I hope I have the courage to stick around longer before I just..go. Anyways, till then

Cheerio !

 

 
 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.

twinkle lights

Life’s not sad and twisted all the time. Wedged right between the dull and the bad are some pretty satisfying times in life of a loner. Happy even, if one understands what that really is. Just go to the bank, get all the credit card problem fixed. Get the other card the ATM ate last night. Come back home and after food shut the blinds, wrap yourself in a comforter and watch House Md on your pc placed on your table at just the right distance from your bed. Then switch on the soft yellow twinkle lights hanging all around in your room. Switch off your cell, and shut the door. There’s no one in the corridor to stomp around and interrupt your drama time. All the issues of the day have been resolved. There’s nothing to study for as yet. Your assignments are all done. You’re going home to meet your parents in a short while.

~Life’s good, ey !!~

 
2 Comments

Posted by on March 20, 2014 in Balderdash Thoughts

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

May the man be dammed and grow fat, the one who wears two faces under one hat

Seriously speaking, I am not a resentful person. I might not forget things but if a person talks to me in a good way once after being foul a thousand times, I reciprocate with thrice the politeness. I have changed a lot but I haven’t become a really bad person, as yet. Foul mouthed bitter straightforward wacko…yes.. but not bad. I pray that doesn’t happen (btw)

But people will not fail to amaze me. And once again I bang my head on the wall. My instincts..are always correct. My first decisions and perceptions..are always true. Believe me.. I don’t like to flatter myself but the term always is heavily applicable.

But why do I go wrong time and again?

I give them a chance
….they blow it

Double faced chance

 
6 Comments

Posted by on March 15, 2014 in Balderdash Thoughts, Incidents

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

It’s a muddled up head I have up here

If you deny or ignore something for so long it starts to feel true and gets incorporated in yourself. Just start pushing all them limits and your mind will start making excuses for you. We all justify doing what we do and then time comes..we don’t even need that call from the inside

And I’m tired and angry and tired. There are not many things left in the world that I care about and that scares me. I don’t care if my grades go down, I don’t care if my dress is stained, I don’t care if I look like an idiot in these trousers. I don’t care if there is stuff going on in college, at my place, back in my home. If I have friends if I don’t. It just doesn’t matter. I get up. Go around the world. Come back. Stair at the walls. Yada yada yada

What I do is, I don’t talk about what’s bothering me. I don’t write about what’s bothering me. And couple of days ago.. I blew at something some friend did. It crossed the limits of my tolerance. And I was at loss. Talk to whom? I didn’t wanna talk to anyone closer. I can’t. I called up my neighbour four years back and I blew up on the phone.

And all I know is lets just.. get up and go on. It doesn’t matter what I do or what I become. Being virtual is a cross I have to bear.

Afterall it was my choice

The book theif

 

 

 
 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Mime

It’s not easy to pretend
Its hard walking your way
I got so strangely lost
Just leading you astray..

Mime

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 20, 2014 in Poems

 

Tags: , , ,

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 252 other followers