Some stuff that reveals a lot about you

Or gives the impression you want to give

…..and isn’t that impressive. Believe me

          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was lying in my bed. Reading a book, when my cellphone rang. I hate touch phones btw. It was my kid’s call. Sob, He’s in Jersey now. And I miss him. (By this time everyone should know that by kids I mean my young cousins)  He went on about the flight and I stifled a sigh. Boy I am never going to Uncle’s again. All my kids are in Jersey now. Dammit

I looked at my cellphone and saw the wallpaper. Its cute. Bertie and Ernie. Bring a smile on so many faces as they plunge into my phone

What if I had an emo wallpaper. Or a crying girl. Blood. Heartbreak. All the crap stuff my cousins have over their cells. It instantly gives the feeling of being…what… lovesick? Depraved? Oh I am so lonely… I need love.. my heart just broke blahblahblah

It just makes me sick. It just makes me sick to see such stuff that screams all about you. I don’t appreciate too conservative feelings, too hidden people.. but for Lord’s sake it brings you no good by showing off your feelings to all the crap of the world who.. believe me when I say it… don’t give a blasted damn

Then come to ring tones. When I got my own cell in grade 11.. My first ringtone was.. Fireflies by Owl City. Why? One thing that lyrics started after long music and by that time I picked up the phone. Then I went on to Love Story by Swift (same reason) then You’re Beautiful by James Blunt (show off) then for months and months I had Wiseman by Blunt… One because the music was long, two because it reminded me of lessons I fail to learn every stinking time I fall

But then I desisted. It said a lot about me. I changed to The Big Bang Theory ending theme and will keep sticking to it (the ringtone has become VERY POPULAR in my hostel and I love how they yearn to have it too. Lol)

When I stick to something, Boy I stick hard

I see people with stupid ringtones as I move around in buses and vans. I mean… what.. such less dignity.. such less trust on yourself that you go on telling the Universe that a girl broke your heart or a guy dumped you or how you will love to hook up with the next person who smiles at you.. makes me sick.. makes me so sick..

And then. The dp’s. The display pictures. Fb, Yahoo, Hotmail, MySpace, Twitter.. etc etc Tells how proud and messed up and moronic you are. I too had idiotic dps but then I so stopped. All of them became what I posted on my blog. I just, stopped opening up altogether

And if you do such stuff to hurt someone.. a public display of relationships won’t bring you anything.. your affection shall remain so even without such games.. but what if the tear that falls from someone’s eye brings you eternal curse?

They say it right…What you do.. defines you…

I do not mean lock yourself up and hide. But show yourself to people who are worth it. We all have purple, blue, yellow, orange daffodils in us. Save them folks. Save your dignity and self-respect, Laughter and love is for everyone. But save those pains and sorrows for people who are worth it.

Believe me there aint many

But the ones that are, are just so worth it

Aye =)

These are my opinions and thoughts. No offence intended and no one is obliged to agree =)

 

It is just one of those feelings I have

Peace has its own forms. Love has its own states. Understanding comes in many varieties and realization… is of many strains…

I don’t know.. what sitting on the back seat of a car does to me. I have no idea. It just makes me something so deep and so sober. Even happy.. I may have cried sitting back there. But the tears would’ve been of realization or understanding. Never regret. Seldom pain. Travelling brings out so much in me.. Or maybe because I have time to sit back and think. Receding into my own.. Somewhere in the corner of my mind. Somewhere deep in my purple heart.

And here again. I sit. And I sit. Legs so comfortably resting (mind you I am very tall). And my brain is back on its old track. Thoughts, memories, stories, imagination. All cropping up and muddling. But the better thing is that life is so new now. Life is so changed. There are new memories to think of. There are newer people to ponder on. Thoughts are new. It is a newer me. It is a happier me. It is the crazier me.. It is the healed me.

I look as the places well-known and paths well-travelled zoom past me. I have been travelling here and back for a decade or so. This is where I belong. This is what home is like. Maybe.

The best part is as I close my eyes and think I know I am so loved so deeply. The place I am heading to is milling with people who adore me. Who consider me as a part of their lives. People I have grown up with. I maybe know them. Maybe I don’t.. but all I know is that I have seeing these eyes for a long time in my life. I just love them..

I’ll go, shake hand with my kids. They’ll grab my pc and demand the stuff brought for them. Elder cousins will ask me about my studies and show me their dresses ( I’m a girl mind you) Elder boys who used to play football and volleyball and because of my pathetic fielding put me as the cricket Umpire.. will smile and nod at me and move away. Because we are grown ups. Because they are stuck up guys and I am an egoistic girl.. Bam they have forgotten how cute I used to be with them. Planning attacks and pranks. But they had to become sick guys and I know how many of them have a BIG time crush on me… Lol the problem is that they have never met anybody quite like me… Nor have you (mind you)

I can talk all day. My cousin handed me a half-eaten packet of Lays. I do the same by the way. I smile at him and jest him of being a big time idiot-brother. He answers back and I frown and stick my tongue out. I am all pink. I am all blue. I feel yellow and I feel brown. Before I slip further away into these muddy thoughts I thank my God for so much. I don’t know who’s prayers are being heard. You know.. I am not supposed to be happy..

Never mind =)