By the Shore

I could hear, hear the rush of water, the tides were maybe hidden underneath. It was a normal rush.. The waters were not wild today. They were washing over sand.. flowing back and forth back and forth. I looked at them hard… For this was the place she was last seen. This was the place where they say she came and then was lost… Where she went where she has gone. . No one knows.

These waters had last touched her bare skin, before she vanished into the unknown, only these waters could now tell me where she was.. For I know she would’ve poured herself inside out here For I know she would’ve talked here For I know her voice had been in the air around here.. For the winds had never been so calm..

But then.. why will these waters tell me anything? They will remain faithful to the girl who’s faith and soul I had so knowingly crushed. The heart I so brutally broke. She gave up everything fer me and I broke her. In the conquest of gaining what could never be mine, I lost what I so truely had.

She mustve wept here.. Her tears might now be the part of this salt water.. But had I took her tears away too? Where had she gone What had I done ter my family! I had always loved her I had always loved our child!It was my fault all my fault! If I had not gone astray my child would never had killed himself. The image of my baby lying covered with blood tears my soul apart! My child… barely seven.. dead beacuse Dad was gone… because Dad had forgotten him and Mama.

How much had she lost because of me? How much had i crippled her? Crushed her and broken her? Beyond explanation… Beyond the words that inhabit this language.

But oh waters I repent! I regret! I cry.. I loved her.. I still do.. From the core of my heart and to the depth of my soul. Give me pain Give me agony.. Something in return ter what I did ter the only people who so truely loved me. Hear! Keep her safe! Wind! keep her calm! Keep her happy! My sins cannot be forgiven but these eyes long ter see her again! Give me pain For i am a lost man.. responsible fer taking a whole world away from her… I am tired I am weak but willing ter accept pain.. even a quarter of hers will kill me but this life aint worth anything.. anymore

Blind by tears, I dimly saw tides rising and body of a dead woman floating towards me.. the tides came at rest at my feet, and laid her down slowly. The calm I saw on her face… She might just be sleeping

7 thoughts on “By the Shore

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