Well… while thinking about today… I guess I am a complete escapist. I rushed to my room when I came home. Viewed myself in that mirror in the dark corner. I was right. My face was glowing. White. I touched it to make sure. Just a thin layer of sweat, nothing else. It had been ages I saw myself this way..
Ever been so busy that you don’t even care what you look like? Whether your hair is done whether your face looks fine whether or not you seem to be sane? Busy even to scratch your head. Stuff pending. Work work work run run run. Wow
Well.. this is exactly the life I LOVE! I just love running around the planet doing chores. Going college going academy working running. Pushing myself to walk even when I am just so drained of energy. Telling myself.. Go on you aren’t an old grandma yet. You are one strong person. Hush on, Come on, It’s fun. You don’t get to see these days often… Pushing books in my bag and not even caring to zip it up because HELL I won’t get the right seat! Sitting alone in the vehicle and switching the silent mode on on the cellphone. And scared a bit. Gulp.
I just so love it. I love to keep have my fingers in so much. Love to peek in between telling my friend that I am stuck in this stuck in that. Although I am the “Want to stay alone” sort of person mostly but I just love running in to the crowd that knows nothing about me. And often finding a face lighten up..”Haibar right? It has been so long!! How do you do!?” And yes.. typical conversation that proceeds… Just love the idea. Gosh I am so happy. Happy at the fact that I have so much to do. Entrance test is approaching!! I have not even a single moment to waste! Run hide work groan
Plus… you know what makes it all worthwhile.. To see people have missed you. Some people have been thinking that where the hell you were.. Maybe I love it because it makes me forget so much. Makes me forget everything that’s going on in my life. Makes me feel so far far away from this world. Far away from all the thoughts and memories that are not worth being in my head, I wish I remain this way. Not so busy that It becomes impossible to be with the people who love me. But busy enough to make me sleep without having to bear the pain. Busy enough to make me so tired that I don’t have to think at night… With mum putting up hot food for me as I return and as My friends stay around me.. Loving me truly for the first time in my life… I’d say.. Life is becoming something I actually look forward to…