Balderdash Thoughts

Starting from my table.. Straight into my Brain

I really have to write something down, given that either my friends are asleep, or way too tensed. Why? Yeah let’s write leave that

I love scene descriptions. I love watching things as they are and explaining them with a somewhat sober manner..Then entering into some state of mind. And I am not commenting on my Adjectives; Never been a great grammar student

Well. I am sitting on my chair. It is soft, maroon. A comfy office chair, bought by my Uncle in grade 9. I look around in my room, all brown. Everything is brown, Dark chocolate colour except for the Library and Carpet.. which happens to be caramel

My desk is littered with things from the skies above and soils beneath, wrappings from the new printer cartridges I (finally) got installed, wires coming from a hundred godforsaken sockets and pages flying all over the place. That’s right, I scatter more than I study

I see a small calender lying right in front of me, right next to a picture of me and my family, it has a big caption, right next to the Heading of September 2011, Bold letters saying SCREAM!!!! And explain my condition every time I look at the date 13 highlighted with blood-red. The date of the great Test… Or the date for the Gallows. Snap. Get out of my sight.

Let’s swing the chair around and see what’s behind, A medium bed. Hardly ever slept on. The mattress is excellent for people with bent spines, because I couldn’t look at my feet or bend down an inch since my last nap in here. Yup, I am usually and absolutely found snoring in the hall.

There is this huge ancient dressing table. Mum’s possessions. Oh God I hate it.. And all you could see up will be a moisturizer, some deodorant, some vaseline, a box full of all the tid bids my cousins ever gave me and of course, A giant bottle of some air freshener. Not to forget a hairbrush with stray hairs. If you look closely, you can spot the blue ball pen I lost yesterday. Darn it

I have two bins in my room. A tiny show piece and a huge real one hidden under my table. Both of them, have never been seen empty. You’ll find Cornetto and Lays wrappers along with the discarded study time tables and stick notes that won’t stick now..

Well. let’s get over with the balderdash. I have been both angry, content and laughing this week.. I mean.. what.. the most hilarious thing is to watch hypocrites and liars talk about virtues.. Your secrets and stuff? disembowelled, Your dignity? Stomped and humiliated.. Now we talk about virtue.. owww. My mouth is full with disgust and venom. People.. Be what you say. Be a man/woman/child of your words. I don’t believe in indirect approach. But you know.. a time comes when we just don’t care…

If you love someone.. love.. hate someone.. try not to but ok go on with the dislike… Left someone? Oh Baba just let go now! Nobody is dying for anybody.. People fall they get up fall again and eventually this may take time but they learn how to walk ahead and walk past. I don’t know how you can live knowing how much your actions affected someone. I mean if I talk about myself.. I never called anyone from my dead and wretched past.. Want to stick around.. I gave a chance.. Don’t make my life hell! Just.. leave.. me.. alone!

Whenever people fall.. like I did.. They say.. the same old thing. ‘I will create a new life, I will start over’ I said that too.. and I did that. I accomplished it all. Change is the only permanent thing in nature and as my potato friend said that no matter what.. we have to be ready to LET GO

It is not debatable. Life is different for every single one of us. Some of us are ahead some are behind in the long run. But you know what.. you have to make it! Walk through the roads less travelled by or elbow through the crowds! Chose what you want, see what you need. We never really get to make choices.. but dammit we have to live here!

And as for myself? I have all I need, with my God above and friends beneath. With my folks and my family… I don’t miss anything I once had, anything I once might have been. I cherish what I have become and guys …. have your own life. May Karma ******* you up

Pardon. Really. I don’t care

May Allah give us all the power to move on with faith.. Call Him any of the words you have chosen to.. But you know what my Lord.. You put me on right path… And help me through the storms till the end now.. Healed I may be, sensible I may have become.. I just don’t have that love to give anymore… Goodnight =) Meow

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7 thoughts on “Starting from my table.. Straight into my Brain”

  1. Yay! I finally find a fellow blogger who would apper in MCAT on the same date as me!!! Not that i’m counting on to get into a med school by the government. I have too less amrks. But anyways, tell me, how’re you feeling. i think this post is an outcome of the frustration you have in you :D

    1. Yeah you are quite right !
      So that’s another co-incidence btw
      The feelings are all crappy and suffocating.. You know how the competition is like..
      You don’t lose hope.. There is way more to life than becoming one of the society praised docs and engs…

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