Balderdash Thoughts

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?”

There is a lot I want to write. And it is not everyday I get such a surge. I watched Kiki’s delivery service. The huge studio Ghibli and anime fan I am… But sometimes these thoughts kick in and engulf me entirely. I feel as if the vibrations have found, finally found a openeing in me to enter. As if somewhere, in my mind, something has finally clicked. The pieces of the jigsaw getting together. Finally. I can feel the energy pushing its way through my veins outrunning blood. It has been a long time this has happened. It has been a long time I felt myself. The person I understand. The one, undivided, complete persona. Yes this is me

Yes, this is me. swimming in the sea of pain and sadness. Flying with the wild geese. This is me. Silent. So quiet. Letting the colours find me. Letting the wind talk. Hearing her truly today. This is me. Born alone. The person who is destined to remain so. And I am making decisions. This is the right time. I have the right energy.
I will find what I am destined to. I will find my own inspiration. I should say I am lost, I think I am losing it. BUT HELL NO. NO!! I am on my way to find it. I will find it! They say destiny and miracles reach you when they have to. Yes. Yes I am a believer. But things depend on how we accept things! How our eyes view and our minds interpret. God my hand never flew so smoothly across this keyboard. It has been months. Months. Months..

What talent do I yet have? Apart from the stuff I *think* I do, I can write. And what am I trying to do all this time? Master as many forms of prose and poetry as I can. Am I serious about it? Was not.. until now!

So what if I am plunging into a life that is gonna throw me as far away from all this as it can. I have lost so much. I might get so much. I dunno. But now I have that feeling. That energy to promise myself that I will not let my dreams die. I will listen to my heart! And bless my brain… It accompanies me in every crazy thing I want to do

And I am going to do stuff so crazier. And even if I might not get it all.. I am not going down.. why? I never ask more. Give me just a little bit. And I will get over it…

(Title: Quote by Einstein)

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