Balderdash Thoughts

Positive changes? I love thou

Well, I was kind of reflecting.

That’s right, I do that

So, I was sitting back, on my creaking maroon chair, and looking around my room. Listening to the voices issuing from the tv in the hall. I found a lot about myself. And I feel.. cool

Living for more than a year in the city, I developed this habit which is sticking to me pretty hard. Like it’s tattooed in my persona, I cannot take things in bulk anymore! In the city, because it was a temporary shift, we took a quarter of our stuff, Less furniture, less utensils, less cutlery lol, we didn’t even take our microwave! All my time there, I used to complain about it. I used to crack the hell out when I wanted to eat my ice cream in my own cool bowl but Mom didn’t bring it because it was WAY too expensive and she didn’t wanna damage it during the moving, same goes for my library and dressing table

I lived a whole year and a half with scanty stuff, compromising when I couldn’t find things because we left it HOME. Now I am back and all the bulk suffocates me!

I LOVE carpets, but we dint have them in the city, now my room bites me. I slept on a single bed or in my tiny room, on a mattress on the floor. I loved that. Now my medium-sized bed looks HUGE. I used to have a few dresses in my closet, now the store-room HAULS me out if I ever step there. Used to have a single bottle of shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer on my table, nothing in the cupboard. Now the load we have there, I honestly want to run away

Even food. I got used to of eating cold food because Mom won’t risk bringing her Oven, Now when I eat last night’s sandwich so hot and tasty, I feel so awkward

I feel so awkward around myself at home. With so many rooms, such a cool kitchen, and spacey bathrooms on top of everything, Our stores are loaded with old stuff, out of season clothes and blankets. Decoration pieces. THEY BITE ME

I mean, a big house is good, I thank Allah. I thank Him for everything. But I thank Him for putting this thing in me. I want a lot of stuff (electronics yeah) but it is an awful mess when I have to clean my room now. I mean, I never knew I owned so much. But it is good to be a minimalist lol. I can give things to people who require them and still not feel bad =)

You know, I hear Mom pray after prayer to God, when she thinks I am asleep you know, that God, make my daughter strong, make her heart and soul pure, make her a good human, make her know the difference between the good and the bad, don’t let her stray, look after her, and may she never get materialistic, may she never have the love for the material, make her love You, make her love her religion, make her a good Muslim, help her abide Your rules….

It’s pretty long, I turned over so she lowers her voice, didn’t wanna spy her praying. Wish she had a better life. But I know Allah loves her, gives her all she asks for. Dad loves her. I love her. And Allah listens to her.

See? I know why I am a good person =D And as per my best friend, I should be proud of it! Lack of modesty? Get outta here…

(Twenty Minutes later when I read it, I swore the world was ending soon)

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2 thoughts on “Positive changes? I love thou”

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