Balderdash Thoughts

It’s just one of those feelings I have..

I cannot put emotions into words until I don’t feel them, I cannot smile when the happiness is shallow, tears don’t fall unless pain penetrates and the turmoil doesn’t shred till the soul is bared… ah.. not till the soul is bared

You see me now, dressed in purple and black. Two very conflicting colours with different essence clad on a body attuned to only one colour. How I wish I could wear something rich brown, just to ease the tension. Let the vibrations out and in suitably. Let me really feel what I am feeling. Just let me feel what is mine..

I am lapsing into the state of nothingness, and no feelings penetrate as I sit in bright sun, the warmth should reach my heart but no it is only burning my back. My hands are on fire. And I see the colours conflicting on my lap. Purple, black, golden.

My nerves stretch taut as I sit. Sit and feel nothing. This is not me. This cannot be me. Is there too much happiness? Is there too much tension? Is the nervousness tearing me apart?

How long can I sit, thinking on this state of mine, I do not know. There is wind. There is company. I want to whisper so she carries my voice away to someone who can hear it. Who can respond back. I want to blow away with the northern winds. I want to see where they can take me. How far can they take me.. How long till they disappear and I am lost..in sands, in water.. I don’t know..

I am just a normal person. My thoughts maybe a little out of the ordinary. But that is the 1% of my DNA separating me from the common 99 we all share.

Just these thoughts, nothing else =)

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