Balderdash Thoughts

Thoughts and a Song

Wednesday. 23rd. Gulp. Two days to the interview… perhaps to my departure. Perhaps is the keyword here aye. So hold your glee =P

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I’d just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I’d end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)
 

I have taken five to six books out from my library to take with me. Nothing in particular but I did put the Book of Awesome. Just to cheer me up occasionally. It’s a great book. Makes me laugh. Jee, it’s gonna be strange for me. I have lived, as yet, in six homes. My family is my home you know. In Abu Dubai (where I was born), in Dubai, In Alain, bred mostly in Sharjah then back to my own country first the village then the city. Now back to village. And now to a whole new city, thrice the size of my town and four times as crowded. And away from home for the first time. Home meaning family. It’s a new life, as my friend puts it, we take a fresh start now

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away
 

I mean. Yes.. It’s. There, a new life.I am not breaking away from here am I? .I am very bad at cutting off. Cutting the strings have been the hardest things ever to me. I can pretend; I can brain wash myself. Give myself justifications. But never I can I give up. There is that voice in my brain. There is that echo in my room. There are those walls and doors. There is that solitude. That darkness. Those smiles. Those tears. They break me up, tear me down. But then give me a hand to build a strong soul. Penetrate stuff you cannot imagine knowing. But I know how to block them all. Lord I sometimes hate the control I have over myself.. My brain helps me in every crazy thing I want to do. Or want to shun myself doing it forever. But there is so much these eyes won’t be able to see. Oh Lord.. how the clock ticks away..

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway
 

Run away, Run away. Been doing that my whole life. That is why now when I confront stuff it alters me in a way that cannot be undone. I have done so many crazy things in my childhood and teens. Now I turn into an adult at such a right time. Wow. Such perfect timing Allah… you must have a whole separate directory on me. And well, everyone =P

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don’t know where they’ll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway
 

One of the many things I like about me. I can joke in every situation. No matter how much my heart bleeds. Its ok. This is life. I had my share of love and joy. One great part is over. One greater awaits. But these are crossroads. People I met here, met me at the crossroads. They don’t know what I was like before. They will not know what I am going to be. If they want to travel with me, aye I am a great companion. If you wanna leave me here. Farewell, if we meet again, there will be a smile and a handshake. Like the one I give you now =)

Btw, Here’s my card =D

I’ll spread my wings
And I’ll learn how to fly
Though it’s not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won’t forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway
Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Thoughts and a Song”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s