Incidents

I been a long time leaving but I’m going to be a long time gone

Billy’s leaving today (don’t know where he’s going).
Holds his head in disgrace (he can’t escape the truth).
He knows the price that he’s paid.
He admits that it’s too late to admit that he’s afraid.

Alright. It’s 6:30 am here. And I am all packed. There are all kinds of feelings and thoughts mingling with the sleep that’s heavily laid on my eyes. Arms hurt. Stomach’s in discomfort. It’s there. Life as I know it

Tomorrow comes. Sorrow becomes his soul mate.
The damage is done. The prodigal son is too late.
Old doors are closed but he’s always open,
To relive time in his mind.
Oh Billy…

It is silly how I can face anything if I block my emotions, overcome anything my giving myself justifications. The mind, oh later questions, the heart, it does accelerate, but see me here now. In this same room with the same maroon chair and chocolate-brown furniture. See me here in this room oddly vacant. See my mom silent. See me now. Making jokes to make her smile. I haven’t looked in the mirror, and I know you don’t see me.

Billy’s leaving today (don’t know where he’s going).
He’s got lines on his face (they tell the story of his pain).
He accepts it’s his fate.
He admits it took too long to admit that he was wrong.

Was it too hard to love me? Or equally too easy to hate me? Look, I am leaving now, away you see. I will take  no more time nor space in my mind to think about you all. Look, was I too bad to be abused? too wretched to be smashed any moment perceived? Still. I forgot to cover my tracks, and the monsters follow me in every world I take up, every star that shines on me, tainting every innocent smile of mine, and increasing every pain that finds its way

Tomorrow comes. Sorrow becomes his soul mate.
The damage is done. The prodigal son is too late.
Old doors are closed but he’s always open,
To relive time in his mind.
Oh Billy.

I leave all these questions here, trying just as I left them here ages ago. It’s such a cold weather. There is fog out there, I hear. One of the smells I love. I am breaking away again. Because its easy now. My fingers are freezing, and I am scared deep down some place where I cannot figure myself out, never have;soon might.

Once he was a lover sleeping with another.
Now he’s just known as a cheat.
And he wish he’d had a mirror; looked a little clearer.
Seen into the eyes of the weak.

There is no use, aye. No use of saying anything. Because I have loved, I have lived, I have hated, I hate, and if people won’t stop hurting.. I won’t stop hating, I don’t care if it makes me a hypocrite, I am past the stages of resonated and so painful silence. My life hasn’t ended on such few suckers as yet btw. If a dog won’t stop barking.. aye I won’t stop roaring.. I have used this analogy the second time yet I am unaware of any scarp of meaning to it. Balderdash.

Tomorrow comes. Sorrow becomes his soul mate.
The damage is done. The prodigal son is too late.
Old doors are closed but he’s always open,
To relive time in his mind.
Oh Billy.

Bye guys! I leave at 8 o’clock here. I packed such few stuff (?!) and I yet have my room to confirm. I’ll miss WP, might be back in a week due to a few holidays, it was an honour meeting you all and there is respect in my heart that nothing can tamper, pray fer me! SO LONG

Haibar

P.s. Happy new year to all Muslims!

(Title: Quote by Willie Nelson)

(Song: Oh, Billy by James Blunt)

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