Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 1

Born alone die alone.. classic human tragedy

Have to type down the thoughts before the winds blow the composition away. Before the head drops down and the heart beat falters. Before the words fail me and the fate disappoints me. Gotta write it down, gotta pen it away.

When I am satisfied and content, my heart soars into the skies and brushes past the clouds. You know that.. that expression of relief and happiness when I leave whatever I am doing to help someone understand the attachment of sartorius (a muscle) ? I mean just that expression makes me fly. I just love that feeling that because of me someone’s work got done someone was happy… it just makes me go wild. Literally. AYE

You know… why I do it? No matter how hard it is for me to get up and go out and help a friend out in her work.. I try my level best to help her.. because I know the feeling of being stranded alone. I know how do you feel when you ask someone to help you and all you get is a refusal masked in poor consolation. I know what it feels like to be turned down again and again. So I try not to it myself. I know it feels.

With ten girls eating my head in an anatomy group demo I can just go on and say a few words and sit in a corner and study myself. I can go and make my own sandwich I can go mix myself a cup of tea… Some might say I help because It’s for my revision. Some might say maybe I want my dishes to be washed. Some others might say something else to disguise my persona as one of them

I am not One of you

I search people. I do. I can feel energies all around me. But only a few compel me to lift my head up and actually look in that direction. I have a lot of friends, people with good humour always do. But its different.. strange how never in my life I have found anyone who would leave a comfy warm bed for me. Who would bust a night’s sleep because you’re afraid of stuff that doesn’t exist… Not even one mate not even one friend…

Mom? Dad? They love me, come one there is no point of bringing them into my cynical and optimistic mosaic monologue lol

Maybe that is what makes me happy. That I am someone you are NOT! I hate things liked by everyone I love things nobody notices I am tall I talk funny (most of the at times) it all separates me and boy, I was brought up this way! And aye, I am glad. If I had never been through what I went through.. who knows what I would’ve become

I am not asking for a return. I am a believer. And when you are a believer…

 

Answers come easy =)

 

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2 thoughts on “Born alone die alone.. classic human tragedy”

  1. huff….now i lost evrythng im fighting alone. . .i cnt predict wtz hapng to me..i feel evrybdy rejecting me. .i cannot tolerate. .i cme to yur blog. .it makes me little happy. .thank u so much.

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