Balderdash Thoughts

Thoughts at 3 am

Well. I was up because of the fast and I had slept at 2 and my head was swimming and buzzing and screaming. So while slowly eating my mind was racing somewhere else. Surprisingly, my cousin, with whom I seldom talk, looked at my face and texted me later that was everything okay with me, Just lack of sleep, I answered

I was thinking that I give people way too much importance than they actually deserve, I consider them special and good on a whole different level. Then I was thinking that I overthink everything. Every single gesture and word just sticks and sucks on to me like a godforsaken leech. Then I thought about people who say my blog is hellish, like disappointing and miserable and sad. New for you, I am the happiest and jolliest person in real, if prose gets the Thomas Hardy out of me, so be it. Plus this is my space I like writing when I am not feeling good. And that, does never mean that you point on me and say that I have to sing sunshine lollipops all the time.

It’s crazy what irritation and insomnia can do ter me

Well. I have tried changing myself. And well it has been good. It ended up making me more sensitive but at least I don’t bother people with it. And I developed a habit of shutting myself out and about when things get worse. It takes me down though, two days in a week I am edgy and likely to explode but rest of the five days run like a train on a German schedule

I live a perfectly normal life so nicely balanced with problems and hardships. World out there is filled with suffering. It gets worse, I hear. But I am glad to be what I am.

And I am sleepy. See ya guys

P.s. Happy Birthday Stance =)

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4 thoughts on “Thoughts at 3 am”

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