It’s a small quiet room it’s a small quiet place. I feel good. And deep. I came back in here after a long tour across the whole building. Said hello hi to all my mates. Cracked some jokes talked some more and back to the old shack we come..
What shall I do now.. read a book? Study? Sketch? Write? Or just lie down and sleep early tonight. I met such a nice humble person today and it feels so nice. I am attracted and pulled towards people with stable energies like you wouldn’t believe. I can’t make friends and be at peace with them if the energies don’t match.. Okay.. I am rambling..
So sitting in the auditorium with tens of people walking around, all hopped up on the coming week filled with fun at college. We get only one week and it is a blast every year. Every one is doing something.. painting.. acting.. singing.. playing basketballbaseballvolleyballtennisbadmintonnetballchessdarts.. And all the literary stuff is also going on. Someone is writing poems someone is jotting down essays.. even the Urdu people are going on with the fun you wouldn’t believe.. but I am better suited with the good old English ey. And I am nothing like the jumpy thing I was at school poking my nose in everything I can lay my hands on (lol) Anyways this place just is everything except a medical college right now.. And the energy is contagious!
Anyways. I better read a book now aye, my roomie is nowhere to be seen
Dracula, here I come =P
I am just going ter stop feeling -_-
It’s been a beautiful cloudy day. I like clouds. I like rain. I like winds. I like the sweet sunshine that follows. I love doing what I do, hanging out with a bunch of people, college, home, mom.. I sit down on the steps and I can hear everyone moving around and it feels..so..ordinary.. It feels as if you are shrouded by a mist, hidden and away and deep down.. maybe you like it even.. or maybe you don’t, I am not sure anymore..
It’s just a big world and I am so tired.. Being an HSP is shit.. I laugh all day I write all sober and sad and all my friends think there are like two weird sides to me. Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Madonna…
Puff. I am going ter bed
I don’t even know whether I’ll be able to finish typing this up or not. Every bone and every muscle of my body is aching aching aching like GAH
Yeah that’s right. I got a room on the second floor and the shifting left me half dead
Every year it is the same damm thing until my 3rd or 4th year of medicine when they finally give us room worth living
Walking up and down the stairs have left me half dead and I today I gave the worst viva of my LIFE.
I hate everything right now
E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g believe me.
So.. I have been reading this book ‘The sea, the sea‘ by Iris Murdoch but the problem is I get to read it only in the bus (my spare time) and it’s a short journey from college to my building. So yeah.. it’s moving pretty steady. I read ‘Under the net’ before. Nice book. Both of them.
But.. I stopped reading a lot many times thinking how relate-able some of the characters were with me. Same has happened many times while reading many different books. I see a character description and I’m like.. hey.. that’s me.. that’s how I see myself. And that’s how I think I am seen by so many others. Then I started thinking, there are so many songs that just.. click. Hear a song and you feel as if it was written for you, as if it was sung for you. The melody just blows your mind away as the singer hits you just where it’s tender..
And then I thought.. am I just.. too common..?
Nobody likes to hear that. We all like to believe we are much different from others and maybe on some stages we are, but on so many fundamental levels.. I guess it is all the same. Or is it just all sensitive people feel the same way? Have we been objects for Literature from the beginning of time? Or are the writers I relate to just one of touchy feely fools that drive me and my thinking processes round and round?
I don’t know. I just don’t like the idea nor the theory of relativity.
Why you no like me Einstein )=
Years later if my kids ask me what was the best part or best era of my life.. I would give them a straight narrowed look.. with a secretive knowing smile.. Being a student. Being a student
Now this seems to be a very.. straightforward and boring answer. But really. It is the best part of my life. I am not saying I love medicine I love science.. This was my mother’s dream and I have absolutely no regrets in doing what she wanted me to do. Sure life would’ve been different if I had pursued literature, like my sister. But then it had always been a..hobby.. something to think about while sitting on my sofa back at Dad’s place.. Or something to keep me company as I travelled that long journey back and forth from school. Boy it was a long journey.. that part of me seems so far away but..still.. I loved all of it
Yes. I love it. I love whining about my studies. I love saying BUSSSSSSSSSSSSSS (enough) when the lecture keeps droning on. I love twirling my pen, which I always lose before the day ends. I love having written conversations on the sides of my notes. I love taking notes and twisting everything my teacher says. I love wiggling through that crushing crowd infront of the notice board to find what grades I got in certain test.. I love giving my Professors feisty names. Years later.. God I am gonna miss this. I am gonna miss this all
But who knows.. God gives me a better tomorrow to love. I am not saying everything is perfect.. but today ain’t that bad either….
I know it has been so long I wrote.
But then again.. who missed me.. ? =)
But yeah, I missed Wp