It is a great night, more cooler than it should be. The summers are parting and winters are headed this way. I sat in the endless corridor, with my cup of tea and a notebook in my hand. I gotta finish studying this topic by midnight. I gotta get over it by midnight
But do we keep the promises we make with ourselves, let alone keeping those we make with others.? It has become a habit of ours. Saying things we cannot do, wanting things we cannot have, holding on to things that no longer can stay, it’s the stupid nature of the impractical human. It’s just one of those things we do
So, I quickly skim through the entire thing. Close my eyes and repeat the difficult parts to myself. Slurp the tea as loudly as I can, and smile to myself as I hear the absurd sound amplified in the cold corridor. I like this place.
I can hear them sounds at the end of the passage, someone’s coming my way. I get back to my notes and start reading them again. He comes and sits by me. I haven’t seen him a long time. I heard he was busy out there, and so was I, in my own illusions, in the virtual that don’t stay
Last time I met my friend, I was burning with hatred and anger. Last time he came when I was far too weak to breakaway, far too weak to hold my head up. Too open, too vulnerable. Transparent. And now, it felt like a big wall around myself, and I was finally locked inside it, last time I had a few people who helped me pull through all the mess in my life. And now here I am and there is no one out there I could call out to. I don’t want to.
But then, things change. One changes. Yes the true essence of the heart and the soul doesn’t go, it shouldn’t go but the skin becomes hard, the armour becomes impenetrable, if you’re lucky, the hatred, the anger, the venom all fades away, because it all got flushed out too long ago. The only feeling left this time is..tireness. And boy, I am tired..
So I wasn’t gonna sob, I wasn’t gonna cry, I wasn’t gonna find that poison and let it sting hard. There’s too much of that in the air already. So I pick up my brown cup of tea, and clink against the white one in Sebess’ hand, no matter how hard it is, there are some people who soften the blow. Their voices soothe the very fires inside. I was glad my friend was here, and that truth I was afraid to realize seeped into me slowly..
If it’s meant for you, you won’t have to beg for it…you will never have to sacrifice your dignity for your destiny.
If one was ever a true friend, the friend will stay…or else it’s all illusion.
Quote by Ritu Ghatourey