Medicine: Year 3

There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold And she’s buying a stairway to heaven

Alone in a Crowd

I don’t see them and yet the energies pass right through my body. They drain me, they make my mind leak. I can stand among a thousand people, attend classes with a dozen more and yet that shield of repulsiveness around me never fails to break. The few friends I have are the ones that make it bearable for me to live. I can pass on what I feel to them. Not through words, but mere gestures. And every gesture of mine has a hidden meaning in it. I don’t see you but I can look right through you. Trust me, I can’t feel your presence. There’s always a veil that separates me from everyone. And I don’t mind. It has always been like that, it’s the thought of the unveiling bareness that scares the living hell out of me. What happens if I start seeing them? What if it ends one day and the images cascade on me like waterfall and drown me? I don’t know, but I do fear it

So walking through the corridors of my college I felt like a bad sucking force somewhere from outside. I’ve never felt so small.. so..invisible. But then I am not meant to be seen, and I don’t like to be seen. I don’t like to be known. I don’t like strangers and I don’t like talking to them

And I don’t

Don’t take me wrong. I don’t mind it. I don’t like having to eat usual holiday breakfast or lunch with anyone but I sure enjoy the occasional get together and laughter. I don’t like sticking to friend like a glue but it’s nice to have company some time of the day, I am not a hermit, I am just a wacko.

We all have a ball of energies surrounding us, I don’t mean anything big or magical, just the way we carry ourself, maybe even how we think and act. Sometimes just a big shield of misconception and conceal

I know I have one. And I know how it can shun people to silence and dislike

Ciao

Haibar =)

 

Title: Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin

 

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