Phase II

I Understand Now What My Mom Meant by ‘Books will ruin your brain’

Sometimes I start talking and stop because a voice inside begs me to (not a ‘voice’, voice). I see the look at the other person(s) face and my tongue slips a little. That is my cue to stop talking. And then suddenly I am tired. Then I just feel like being quiet for the rest… Continue reading I Understand Now What My Mom Meant by ‘Books will ruin your brain’

Balderdash Thoughts

Prayer for tonight

I have a very heavy heart today. Right now, as I sit by my window and the wind blows through my incredibly wet hair, I feel a burden weighing me down. What do I tell you? I have no words you haven't heard before.   Sometimes, the only way to move forward is to kill… Continue reading Prayer for tonight

Balderdash Thoughts, Incidents

Standing Still

I wonder how stubborn and rubbery some of us are. How truly incorrigible. Unbreakable, infinite. History comes and goes, time and again, repeating itself, punishing us for the same mistakes over and over and we still stand there. Tall as ever, been hit so many times but still alive; breathing, smiling, laughing. It's that permanent… Continue reading Standing Still

Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 4

Better left unsaid, better left unfelt

I spent an hour writing..everything. Pouring my anger into my laptop and editing it and constructing all those sentences and blah blah blah blah and a second before I was going to hit send.. I just stopped. Not today. Not now. Have you ever felt so consumed with anger and hatred and total helplessness that… Continue reading Better left unsaid, better left unfelt

Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 4

It’s just the strangest thing, I’ve seen your face somewhere…

I am tired to my bones running into the same kind of people every day and every night. Wherever I turn, I see the same faces, same pointless drivel flowing from their lips and it makes my stomach turn. I see them reading the same worthless books, quoting the same quotes, wearing the same expressions… Continue reading It’s just the strangest thing, I’ve seen your face somewhere…

Medicine: Year 3, Tales of Two

Tale of Calamine Lotion and Quiana

I live next door to a beautiful paranoid brainiac. So the tale goes this way that she had a mild skin reaction on her neck. It was mild at first, but then it turned into this monster that attacked parts of her face. Next thing we know, there are screams and paranoia everywhere =D We… Continue reading Tale of Calamine Lotion and Quiana

Few words to say

Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.

It runs through my veins like blazing molten lava. I can feel it coursing through my vessels and burning my fingertips. I can feel it melt my bones and disconnect the tendons, with muscles snapping like rubber bands. It feels so real, and it has the power to reduce me to the shadow of the… Continue reading Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.

Balderdash Thoughts

“We can try to avoid making bad choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision.”

Oh God.. I have made a lot of bad choices in my life. I have taken a lot of bad decisions. Sometimes it suddenly hits you in the face, and it hits you hard.. Why do I wanna change when I am what I am? Why do I wanna run away for people who don't give… Continue reading “We can try to avoid making bad choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision.”

Balderdash Thoughts, Incidents

May the man be dammed and grow fat, the one who wears two faces under one hat

Seriously speaking, I am not a resentful person. I might not forget things but if a person talks to me in a good way once after being foul a thousand times, I reciprocate with thrice the politeness. I have changed a lot but I haven't become a really bad person, as yet. Foul mouthed bitter straightforward wacko...yes..… Continue reading May the man be dammed and grow fat, the one who wears two faces under one hat

Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 3

It’s a muddled up head I have up here

If you deny or ignore something for so long it starts to feel true and gets incorporated in yourself. Just start pushing all them limits and your mind will start making excuses for you. We all justify doing what we do and then time comes..we don't even need that call from the inside And I'm… Continue reading It’s a muddled up head I have up here