I honestly thought I was done with blogging.
I mean..you’ve got your friends on one side, then you’ve got your studies and you’ve got your little dramas and you’ve got a relationship and you’re losing weight and you don’t care about social media, you don’t have that need to connect with any more people than you do and you don’t have the inclination to be your old melancholic self anymore..it’s all tied up in a neat little bow. You have no big inspiration, you have no new thoughts to share..what little you feel you jot it down somewhere. It’s all very ‘Dear Diary..’ you are uninfluenced, unfettered, well-adjusted and happy in your favourite way. Perfect Imperfection. I could kiss karma if I found the bitch.
But then March comes
I do miss it, sometimes. Blogging, writing, old friends etc. But I am not as sad about it as I should be. I am not that broken anymore, nor do I need to vent so much because I don’t let things pile anymore. Being a more stable person, has somehow made me a bad writer. Having more confidence has somehow made me less impulsive. I don’t feel like doing things I would’ve done earlier, just to validate myself. And a genuine lack of interest in social media is partly there because, I just don’t care anymore of what’s out there. I know my priorities, after being mistaken about them for so long. Have you woken up, one day, while reading a book, watching a movie..and know that you know far better than you ever did. That you are up now, and you see better. I am glad those phases before are over and life is, chaotic in it’s own way with much less drama and hurt.
Winters are coming, the season I love. For once I’ll welcome the sun and the warmth from my window, rather than hating the scorched desert it makes my room in summers. I’ll love the Sun like I love rain and clouds. As for Wind.
She always knows where to find me.
Now this is cool.
Two years ! It has been two years writing online, two years giving less and less time to my journal, two years since all that stuff that happened in my life that compelled me to just escape and start my life over and again! God ! It has been two years since I sat down and wrote that it was the crappiest thing I ever felt, time flies man, but it seems as if I have been here for forever and ever ey !
I met the most beautiful people here. Ever since I started blogging 8 other friends and acquaintances started doing so and not to mention the people who have kept a secret from me and either they think I don’t know or they are just waaay too insecure.. Sorry =D
Anyways. I am not going to write a big old post here. Nobody wants to know about that. Just thank yer everyone for being there for me. Although a lot of them drifted apart but..hey..change is the only permanent thing in nature. I’m beginning to understand that. So thank you Muki and Billy and Anne and Stance and Alfa and Bubbly and so many people for just being there for me.
I am sorry for everything.
And thanks everyone for reading all that I put here. Most of it is crude and unrefined. Writing is the ONLY thing I know. The only thing I can do without being afraid or being unsure about. I hope this doesn’t stop. I hope, you know, this Purple thing doesn’t get lost in all the yellow =)
I know this post is pathetic.. but well I got fever. Karmic infections, damn yoou