Balderdash Thoughts

Prayer for tonight

I have a very heavy heart today. Right now, as I sit by my window and the wind blows through my incredibly wet hair, I feel a burden weighing me down. What do I tell you? I have no words you haven't heard before.   Sometimes, the only way to move forward is to kill… Continue reading Prayer for tonight

Incidents

Coming to you, straight from the ice-box (I)

I know it is hot outside, trust me I do. I was the same person who was sweating all my salts and water out in the morning, I do remember. But if you remind that to my fingers now, they will give you the stare of a lifetime, because, I..my dear folks..am frozen. I am doing… Continue reading Coming to you, straight from the ice-box (I)

Balderdash Thoughts, Incidents

Standing Still

I wonder how stubborn and rubbery some of us are. How truly incorrigible. Unbreakable, infinite. History comes and goes, time and again, repeating itself, punishing us for the same mistakes over and over and we still stand there. Tall as ever, been hit so many times but still alive; breathing, smiling, laughing. It's that permanent… Continue reading Standing Still

Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 4

Que sera sera..

Sometimes I feel I am way too old to be whining about friends. The moment I start my brain back-flips as the same thoughts hit me and it feels so tiring to go round and round the same circle. I literally feel a bolus of vomit stuck in my gut and one in my head.… Continue reading Que sera sera..

Balderdash Thoughts, Incidents

There are too many books I haven’t read, too many places I haven’t seen, too many memories I haven’t kept long enough

I was brushing my teeth the other day, looking in that foggy, droplet-stained mirror so early in the morning when the pictures started to move in my head so thick and fast. Childhood. I don't care about that era, just like I don't care about the teens that passed. I don't even remember being a… Continue reading There are too many books I haven’t read, too many places I haven’t seen, too many memories I haven’t kept long enough

Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 3

Some things are just not good for you, but are great for others

Social networks are great. Movie Theaters are great. Expensive restaurants are great. Less expensiveones are awesome. Going to them with friends is great. Making lots of friends is great. Talking is great. People and what they do is just..great But I hate all of this and all of them. I despise it all. It makes the… Continue reading Some things are just not good for you, but are great for others

Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 3

Pick a card, any card

  So it all comes down to this. Making a choice. Getting to a decision. Turning iron heart and let that hate enter your veins again. God, it hasn't been so long since my blood was all clean.. Three years, I have had three years now. Blogging my life away. Writing stories, making up poems,… Continue reading Pick a card, any card

Balderdash Thoughts

One of those things.. you know

There's that moment when you feel that thing creeping up at the back of your mind, at the surface of your heart and the tip of your tongue. That urge that beautiful flow of words you know you can write down. You have been staring at blank pages and empty screen for days. Nothing to… Continue reading One of those things.. you know

Balderdash Thoughts

It is better to light just one little candle, then to stumble in the dark

There is light; yes. I have spent two days in the hall, lying on the sofa because I am too sick to move around. Watching movies and reading books to pass the time from dawn till dusk. I am glad I got sick. I am glad I read so much and saw such great stuff.… Continue reading It is better to light just one little candle, then to stumble in the dark