Sleep well, My Angel

And yes..I see him. My God I see him. Staring at the ceiling, eyes empty. I see his quilt lying on the edge of the bed, neatly folded. He doesn’t care. I had taken it all away. His laughter, his smiles. Everything he had, gone or replaced by the memories of a friend he could not meet anymore. Everything lost because of a healer that couldn’t cure anymore. Heart that didn’t beat anymore.. voice not heard anymore

Watching you sleep for so long,
Knowing I can’t turn the rain into sun any more
I’ve given you all that I have,
Now I stand here, too scared to hold your hand.

He will never admit the pain that was a part of him now. I never knew I had become a part of him. I don’t give you strength anymore, you hear me? Conor I don’t do anything but break you anymore. I know that gaping whole I left in your life.. I never wanted to be replaced but the change it has brought in you.. It burns my soul. Rips it apart as every memory stings you. It stings Con, you have to go on. Leave me behind. Let me go

Afraid you might wake to see
The monster that had to leave

You still remember me. You still haven’t move on. You still think of all I ever said, all I ever did. But you forgot.. You were my angel.. you were the one who gave me hope.. you were the one who taught me how to live with pain. Con.. you were the one who helped me breathe. It was you all along. I am here, because of you. It was the life you lived and the time you spent that made me what I was. I don’t care about my pain, I never did. Seeing you in one.. I wish I never existed.. Oh I wish I never did..

‘Cause you see the shelter as the storm
Holding wind to keep you warm,
You are everything to me, this is why I have to leave,
So sleep well my angel.

Yes.. I confess to the winds as you do. I scream to the waters as you do. You are not with me and the world still holds, You are in pain yet my soul persists. You can’t give up. So what if I am not with you? You will live. You promised me.You are not a coward. We have to let go, all those memories and all those times we spent together, the worst thing our friendship could do is cause this pain. And it is doing so. No.. Con.. Stop. Go away. Burn everything that reminds you of me, leave this place, go away, go away

Under the ash and the lies,
Something beautiful once here now dies,
And the tears burn my eyes,
As you sit there, all alone.
I just want to come home,

It’s not like I don’t want to come back, it is not like I don’t peek.. I loved you. I wish we could sit on that pavement again.. and I tell you my stories. I wish I could pout and wait for you to say sorry. I wish I could hit you on head again. I knew I had to go. I kept wishing the day never came. I was wishing that I survive. You know.. I also thought we’d be friends forever.. I also thought I’ll never leave your side….

But you see the shelter as the storm,
Holding wind to keep you warm,
You are everything to me, this is why I have to leave,
So sleep well my angel.
Sleep well, my angel.

I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I’m sorry

Looking through this window, looking at a friend long lost, gives you nothing. Staring straight and not able to cry. Leaves you with no good. But do I care what I look like? Do I care about myself? I see, with these blasted eyes of mine, him dessicated and withered. I always thought I’ll be lost soon after I went. I feared if I ever ran away, I will never be followed.. But the pain it causes you… I wish I never knew you. I wish you never cried all those tears for me. I wish I could sit and take it all. I wish I could take all those memories away from you.. Oh I wish I could take you away..

You see the shelter as the storm,
Holding wind to keep you warm,
YOu are everything to me, this is why I have to leave
So sleep well, my angel.

Sleep well, my angel. I turn and flap my wings, Soul in torment, I, in a world dark. I look at the moon and take off. There was nothing I can do.. I, dead and I going. Lord take me away..