So I’ll just say what you won’t say

Eustacia found her eyes opening at 3 in the morning, the moment she realized she was awake..There were no words to express her regret… None at all

Pain shotted up her left arm. Crippling her down. She was pinned down in her bed.. Curled like a ball.. She tried to press her arm down. To suppress the pain. But no, it won’t stop. It was moving through her arm, threatening to bust her shoulder blades, moving like venom through her bones, about to smash her fingers. Her eyes stung. And she lay there flailing in her bed.. without a single voice leaving her mouth.

She knew the pain would kill her one day. How long had she lived with this pain? Five years? Ten years? It was like a timer set in her bones. And it went off now and then, reminding her that time was ticking,she was running out of time. Lord no

“Go away, Go away” She kept saying. Telling herself that she was a strong girl. She could do it. Yes I will break free. It will be all right. It’ll pass. It’ll pass

Her parents were sleeping next door. But she won’t bother them. But the intensity of her pain wouldn’t have even let her leave or even cry out. She was thinking about everything. All the words were repeating in her mind. Like a big storm crashing her brain as the pain struck even harder. She wanted to see her friend one last time, he must be sleeping.. But she can always wake him up. No she’ll die here. Alone. With so much pain. She didn’t deserve it. No. God don’t

Stacey.. nothing will happen

 I am breaking down, Ian I’m breaking down

We only receive the pain we can bear. Never more. It’s bearable. It’ll pass

There it was. The voice in her brain. And she took deep breaths. Yes she could bear it. She already felt under control. It will be ok.

But fate had other plans

Pain shotted up once more, dissolving her newly formed faith. At the same moment alarm on her side table went off. She screamed as she never screamed. Muffling them in the sheets she just looked mad. Pale. And yellow. As if something was sucking her deep in. It will kill me. I know Ian. And you could do nothing.

You are not going anywhere ok? Your time is not over yet… We all are here for a reason. Life is not done with you… And and I can’t go on… We’ll fight..

I have to go on. It has to end one day.. If it’s not bearable then Ian… It’s a goodbye. I have to surrender. I can’t take it anymore. Maybe.. I’m not strong after all.. And Hey.. Don’t cry.. Those whom gods love die young…. Don’t cry Ian.. I know you can’t do anything. We tried didn’t we? I am done with life Ian. It’s time. Let me go…Let it all go.. Don’t cry Ian.. No…


They say Ian Gilbert died at the age of twenty. They say he died of acute cancer. Autopsy says it was near 4 o’clock