Balderdash Thoughts

I am not allowed to be afraid.

I have written about my heart being heavy, I have written about it being broken. I have written about being happy, I have written about being content. For anyone who ever cared and to whomsoever it ever concerened...I have written it all. And then I stopped, for I had no new feelings to talk about,… Continue reading I am not allowed to be afraid.

Advertisements
Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 4

Que sera sera..

Sometimes I feel I am way too old to be whining about friends. The moment I start my brain back-flips as the same thoughts hit me and it feels so tiring to go round and round the same circle. I literally feel a bolus of vomit stuck in my gut and one in my head.… Continue reading Que sera sera..

Incidents, Medicine: Year 4

What’s your Room No. ?

Why is it that moving crowds make me feel so horribly crippled and so devastatingly stranded? Stay there for a minute or two and see them all moving on, while you are waiting for that one thing. Standing, invisible and unseen amongst everyone you know. Low self-esteem? Nah, sometimes it's just a simple observation So… Continue reading What’s your Room No. ?

Balderdash Thoughts, Incidents

May the man be dammed and grow fat, the one who wears two faces under one hat

Seriously speaking, I am not a resentful person. I might not forget things but if a person talks to me in a good way once after being foul a thousand times, I reciprocate with thrice the politeness. I have changed a lot but I haven't become a really bad person, as yet. Foul mouthed bitter straightforward wacko...yes..… Continue reading May the man be dammed and grow fat, the one who wears two faces under one hat

Balderdash Thoughts

This big heart is such a small organ

I cannot tell you what it feels like. You know it, deep down and up above. The bittersweet happiness pressing upon your heart and soul. You just feel it. It's right there. Fluttering beats and the soft light. Sit in the corner of a room, illuminated by the dim light of dusk out the window. It's… Continue reading This big heart is such a small organ

Short Stories

“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”

The boy's gone. The boy's gone home. It's a tree trunk. It's a cut down tree trunk. It was planted by my grandma, and then two more  grew on its side. Grandma died when I was 9. Few years back they cut one tree that the storm killed. Then they cut another. And now they… Continue reading “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”

Balderdash Thoughts

Here I am, Once again

Watching Princess Mononoke for the fiftieth time. It's time to think back. Think back again. Time to understand again. How old am I? Traditionally 109 and technically a defeated teenager. I don't wanna lose anymore. A typical human. The orthodox girl. Underestimated, forgotten, neglected and left behind. We all have beliefs. We live our lives… Continue reading Here I am, Once again

Poems

One Step Backward Taken

Not only sands and gravels Were once more on their travels, But gulping muddy gallons Great boulders off their balance Bumped heads together dully And started down the gully. Whole capes caked off in slices. I felt my standpoint shaken In the universal crisis. But with one step backward taken I saved myself from going.… Continue reading One Step Backward Taken