Balderdash Thoughts

Poof…and You’re Gone

  It's a day like any other day, well not any other day..it's a Sunday like any other Sunday. It's raining, for summers seem to have gone on a vacation at the very last second. I am the same person, wrapped in a warm wrap I bought at a sale. Nothing seems to have changed,… Continue reading Poof…and You’re Gone

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Balderdash Thoughts

Prayer for tonight

I have a very heavy heart today. Right now, as I sit by my window and the wind blows through my incredibly wet hair, I feel a burden weighing me down. What do I tell you? I have no words you haven't heard before.   Sometimes, the only way to move forward is to kill… Continue reading Prayer for tonight

Balderdash Thoughts, Incidents

“It was not so much that he was shut out, but that she was trapped inside”

SO my friend sends me sends me an audio message this morning about how de-sensitized he thinks he has become for a period of time, how disconnected from everything and distant from everyone. I listen to the message, my upper lip curls and look around for a while. I don't remember the last time I… Continue reading “It was not so much that he was shut out, but that she was trapped inside”

Balderdash Thoughts, Incidents

Standing Still

I wonder how stubborn and rubbery some of us are. How truly incorrigible. Unbreakable, infinite. History comes and goes, time and again, repeating itself, punishing us for the same mistakes over and over and we still stand there. Tall as ever, been hit so many times but still alive; breathing, smiling, laughing. It's that permanent… Continue reading Standing Still

Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 4

Que sera sera..

Sometimes I feel I am way too old to be whining about friends. The moment I start my brain back-flips as the same thoughts hit me and it feels so tiring to go round and round the same circle. I literally feel a bolus of vomit stuck in my gut and one in my head.… Continue reading Que sera sera..

Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 4

Better left unsaid, better left unfelt

I spent an hour writing..everything. Pouring my anger into my laptop and editing it and constructing all those sentences and blah blah blah blah and a second before I was going to hit send.. I just stopped. Not today. Not now. Have you ever felt so consumed with anger and hatred and total helplessness that… Continue reading Better left unsaid, better left unfelt

Incidents, Medicine: Year 4

What’s your Room No. ?

Why is it that moving crowds make me feel so horribly crippled and so devastatingly stranded? Stay there for a minute or two and see them all moving on, while you are waiting for that one thing. Standing, invisible and unseen amongst everyone you know. Low self-esteem? Nah, sometimes it's just a simple observation So… Continue reading What’s your Room No. ?

Balderdash Thoughts, Incidents, Medicine: Year 4

“Okay, what does ‘okay mean?” “It means, okay, I hear you.”

I've had people as my friends. Few, but yes, there have been some. And I have always observed the exact same pattern with all of them, since I have been the same person and have attracted the exact same kind of people. Amazing people. Everyone was different. They were all strange and exotic in one… Continue reading “Okay, what does ‘okay mean?” “It means, okay, I hear you.”

Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 4

It’s just the strangest thing, I’ve seen your face somewhere…

I am tired to my bones running into the same kind of people every day and every night. Wherever I turn, I see the same faces, same pointless drivel flowing from their lips and it makes my stomach turn. I see them reading the same worthless books, quoting the same quotes, wearing the same expressions… Continue reading It’s just the strangest thing, I’ve seen your face somewhere…

30th Novembers

30th November (IV) belated

I got up with sun stinging my eyes, someone banging at some door and my bladder threatening to burst. I woke up gruntled and went out. Took me a whole minute to recognize the fact that all my friends had gone to brunch and it was a whopping 12 26 pm So by this time,… Continue reading 30th November (IV) belated