Karmic Infections


I am always punished for every single bad word that comes out of my mouth, a single wrong thing I do. God has put fifty angels around me that keep noting everything I say or do and baam! I get punished.

And guess what happened this time

Okay. I have a friend who devours chocolate like anything. Then there is another who is extremely superstitious about it. She thinks that chocolate causes ear pain. And I made fun of that thing for four whole days

Guess what

Fifth day, I got the most massive ear infection there was.

I have been crippled for two weeks. My ear kept ringing with pain and it kept me up at night, it kept me in a really foul mood and all crappy and grumpy. And then the antibiotics were so heavy that they literally brought me to my knees. One push and I would vomit my lunch out (now none of my friends know about that part, shh). College was hazy and I have really sensitive ears. So. Past two weeks God taught me a really good lesson. I have been banging doors, popping pills, cursing walls. Gah

Anyways ! Now that I am well and okay, I guess I better start writing, for that is the only significant thing about me. But as I was walking towards the doctor’s place and coming back down that road back to my building, it felt..strange.. I didn’t have my cell on me.. hell I didn’t even have my wallet (we med students get the check up free). Who would I call? Call and say hey look I am not okay..  Not mom.. she gets too worried. I guess I was just missing her and Dad. And as I poured the drops in my ears and gobbled up the meds, I closed my eyes and sent an apology out in the air. Let it float, let it sway, Maybe something good will come back my way.

But you know, at the end of the day as I pull the covers over me and look up and think about it all, this just shows He’s watching over me and loves me enough to teach me when I cross the lines. And He is ONE Tough Teacher

And it feels good to be loved =)

See ya



Starting from my table.. Straight into my Brain

I really have to write something down, given that either my friends are asleep, or way too tensed. Why? Yeah let’s write leave that

I love scene descriptions. I love watching things as they are and explaining them with a somewhat sober manner..Then entering into some state of mind. And I am not commenting on my Adjectives; Never been a great grammar student

Well. I am sitting on my chair. It is soft, maroon. A comfy office chair, bought by my Uncle in grade 9. I look around in my room, all brown. Everything is brown, Dark chocolate colour except for the Library and Carpet.. which happens to be caramel

My desk is littered with things from the skies above and soils beneath, wrappings from the new printer cartridges I (finally) got installed, wires coming from a hundred godforsaken sockets and pages flying all over the place. That’s right, I scatter more than I study

I see a small calender lying right in front of me, right next to a picture of me and my family, it has a big caption, right next to the Heading of September 2011, Bold letters saying SCREAM!!!! And explain my condition every time I look at the date 13 highlighted with blood-red. The date of the great Test… Or the date for the Gallows. Snap. Get out of my sight.

Let’s swing the chair around and see what’s behind, A medium bed. Hardly ever slept on. The mattress is excellent for people with bent spines, because I couldn’t look at my feet or bend down an inch since my last nap in here. Yup, I am usually and absolutely found snoring in the hall.

There is this huge ancient dressing table. Mum’s possessions. Oh God I hate it.. And all you could see up will be a moisturizer, some deodorant, some vaseline, a box full of all the tid bids my cousins ever gave me and of course, A giant bottle of some air freshener. Not to forget a hairbrush with stray hairs. If you look closely, you can spot the blue ball pen I lost yesterday. Darn it

I have two bins in my room. A tiny show piece and a huge real one hidden under my table. Both of them, have never been seen empty. You’ll find Cornetto and Lays wrappers along with the discarded study time tables and stick notes that won’t stick now..

Well. let’s get over with the balderdash. I have been both angry, content and laughing this week.. I mean.. what.. the most hilarious thing is to watch hypocrites and liars talk about virtues.. Your secrets and stuff? disembowelled, Your dignity? Stomped and humiliated.. Now we talk about virtue.. owww. My mouth is full with disgust and venom. People.. Be what you say. Be a man/woman/child of your words. I don’t believe in indirect approach. But you know.. a time comes when we just don’t care…

If you love someone.. love.. hate someone.. try not to but ok go on with the dislike… Left someone? Oh Baba just let go now! Nobody is dying for anybody.. People fall they get up fall again and eventually this may take time but they learn how to walk ahead and walk past. I don’t know how you can live knowing how much your actions affected someone. I mean if I talk about myself.. I never called anyone from my dead and wretched past.. Want to stick around.. I gave a chance.. Don’t make my life hell! Just.. leave.. me.. alone!

Whenever people fall.. like I did.. They say.. the same old thing. ‘I will create a new life, I will start over’ I said that too.. and I did that. I accomplished it all. Change is the only permanent thing in nature and as my potato friend said that no matter what.. we have to be ready to LET GO

It is not debatable. Life is different for every single one of us. Some of us are ahead some are behind in the long run. But you know what.. you have to make it! Walk through the roads less travelled by or elbow through the crowds! Chose what you want, see what you need. We never really get to make choices.. but dammit we have to live here!

And as for myself? I have all I need, with my God above and friends beneath. With my folks and my family… I don’t miss anything I once had, anything I once might have been. I cherish what I have become and guys …. have your own life. May Karma ******* you up

Pardon. Really. I don’t care

May Allah give us all the power to move on with faith.. Call Him any of the words you have chosen to.. But you know what my Lord.. You put me on right path… And help me through the storms till the end now.. Healed I may be, sensible I may have become.. I just don’t have that love to give anymore… Goodnight =) Meow

Life lessons

I am merging two lessons and two great people I know in this post.. So naturally it will be a long one. Patience… Aye =P

Number 1 : Mom and the lesson of payback

Well. Me and Mom.. we were having dinner. Regular stuff. I was just nibbling a piece of meat ( My apologies to the vegetarians.. Sire bear with me) and the piece just fell from my hand all the way down the bed. I tried to search for it.. but all in vain. I told mom that just lemme finish the food then I’ll pick it..
But HELL!!
Mom gave me a ten minutes lecture on responsibility and hygiene and etiquettes and carelessness and blahblahblahblah : I had to crawl all the way down the dusty place and retrieve the bone.
Then my mom exhaled and we went back to food
After exactly two minutes.. A piece of bread slipped from mom’s hand and landed directly where mine did. And yeah. I chuckled

Mom looked up at the piece (as I coughed out all the dust after my second trip down there) and she smiled a secretive smile and said ” Look honey, Lord paid me back in less than a moment, This is His greatest blessing when he makes us know our mistakes and corrects us sooner… And it’s a great curse when he lets us… be”
That means.. You won’t holler at me now will ya?
And she just scowled… Thinking that none of the words had penetrated my thick skull. Neva mind

I think about that thing all the time.. Sure Lord loves Mom more but hey..He loves me too! Whenever I ask him to save me from all the stuff.. Hey Lord make me know about the good and the bad.. He always answers .. I used to be afraid once.. praying for this but when I did.. he replied..And according to Mom.. it is a blessing and HE… he blessed me.. He took a notice of ME!!!! Well yeah Imma kid and you can’t change me so stop rolling your eyes

Number 2 : Uncle K and the lesson of the dying world

Well it would be interesting if I call him Uncle X but I hate algebra and X reminds me of that chemical that led to the birth of powerpuff girls.. so I guess.. K will do

And yes. I am in air

I remember saying it before… you give me a good conversation and a genuine company… I’ll give you a great time, a great acquaintance and maybe a great friend…

It’s not about friendship now. My Uncle K just left. And I am in love with this man. He is so so so great. I respect him from the core of my heart. Whenever he comes at our place I start bouncing. Literally speaking I start glowing. He is so… so… nice….

He came by to check some stuff and fix them with his supernatural mechanic wisdom. He used to be in Army once. And he never ever reprimands me for asking questions.. he is the only person who actually knows the answer to every question I ask. He just opens a device or a machine and I bombard him with every question I can think of. Hey Uncle this weird wire.. what’s it for? Hey Uncle this is a a Capacitor right? And he shows me his complicated instruments and I exclaim just like a stupid kid. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

He talks so freely.. none of the Uncles I know do so.. I mean he is like Dad’s brother from a certain angle. He comes along, talks about old days with Dad and Grandpa and talks so genuinely that I actually feel that he has no problem of me being around!

I stand out at wedding because yeah.. I am a bit simple.. so naturally I am visible. lol. But the fact is that the more simple and reserved you are the more people respect you. I mean I can feel the warmth in their eyes as they see me all so simple and well cool
It’s a tradition or what that we greet the elders on weddings and festivals or whenever we meet them.. I love jumping towards Uncle and seeing his warm eyes say.. She’s a nice girl

So.. today he was talking and taught me a lot. He talked about small petty stuff yet each and every word was dripping with wisdom. He is one of the very few elders I spend my time with. He’s a heart patient.. Defective Valves. Who knows how long will he live. But I will remember him forever. He is the symbol of the old world. These people aren’t there anymore. The love the care the selflessness.. It’s long gone. The concern in his voice about the family and friends… It somehow reminded me a line from King Lear.. ha I so truly understand it.. it takes a lot to be where all these people are , I can never see what these old eyes see.. I can never understand what these minds.. after scores of hardships and struggle.. can perceive… and yes. One thing he said was about the hearts changing. The souls rotting. Ironic but I believe that definitions of our basics have been exploited to a pitiful extent.. and I am not any different…

I am so lucky I met so many wise people. I wish I could be like them. But it will take a long journey.. A long one indeed….

The woods are lovely, dark and deep, 
But I have promises to keep, 
And miles to go before I sleep, 
And miles to go before I sleep….