30th November (III)

I like testing people. I do it all the time. Everyday. Every other moment. Sometimes its obvious. Sometimes it’s subtle. Sometimes I get them to fail, no matter what. My test, My rules. It’s a crazy world up in my head.

Why ramble on into a huge story of what happened or what didn’t? It was such a long while ago. It was a good day, I was born. Dad Mom Sis were happy. They still are. I too am a lot happier. Crap goes on, I deal with it, Crap comes back, I hit it. People get crap in them, I get a blow. First I used to help them out of it.. now I pretty much shove it in their faces and leave.

Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me B-)

Happy birthay to me

To be or not to be

thunder and clouds

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

 

Neil Gaiman

The Light The Dark

the dark and the light

When the light is dim, all weak and frail
It tells us the very outline, I hear
Whether it’s a man, a hound or a fly
Someone who knocks to enter my lair
But they say the brightness shows it all
The colour the shade the love and hate
The hound that stood, the man who crouched
The trick imitation that granted the pass
They fall at the hallway, some get a bit ahead
They walk they stumble, they run they fall
Nevertheless they never get too far
In the house of a Stygian relict
It makes me return to darkness and think
Their Light brought them here, light made them knock
My Darkness caught up and swallowed the damned lot
Halves of the same whole, white and black
Partners and lovers, divided to trick
 I sit and smile at the nature’s game
And as I lean back, laughing up so hard
Light bursts through the window and death does me part

 

It wouldn’t be New Year if I didn’t have regrets

Hey, I was sitting. Feeling blissful after events of the last day and of course talking to my elder cousin.. my first teacher and the person who actually brought out my love for reading and writing. Boy I found a lot hidden in me after I came back from UAE and practically lived with her a long time. I’ll always be indebted

So. 2011. GONE!

Hmm so talking about the Gregorian Calendar followed.. The year is over.. and man was it an eventful roller coaster ride

I am gonna be random. I started blogging. I met so many new people. I did my intermediate in pre medical. I was dumped by quite a handful of people. Found my brother. Lost my brother. My friendship with Anne, Stance and Stephanie mulitplied. I met Muki, my greatest friend alive. My Potato matey. I met Billy, or my Teen friend! I encouraged or rather inspired (=D) a bunch of people to start their own blogs. Wp became a beloved place… though even people I dread and fear of infiltrating and destroying my world came here. I am still afraid. But I care no more

I will never be the same. This year taught me so so so much. I understood the good. The better. The bad. The worse. I mean, I still am as sensitive as I was.. maybe even more.. But I know how to deal with my feelings now. Deal with people and how to bury stuff behind me. But I am still not strong enough to carry all that alone. Friends have always been whom I have looked upon. I just need a smile to hold. And I can mulitply happiness to a degree it might never reach on its own. I’m proud of that

I learned how to drive.. a bit =D

Plus guys. I got into a medical college! Becoming a doctor just like my old man

I am not going into my usual deep crap talks. But this year was hard. I shifted back to my home in the village. I had fallen in love with the city. MIracles surrounded me. Once..twice..thrice..four times. I watched so many seasons of so many tv serials just to distratct myself from the hollowness the pain my friends left me with. Friends? Jee why did I even use that term.. Double faced two toned hypocritical__                               Language Haibar!

I am sorry folks. Really. May Karma eff you up
Emphwa!

I became even more funny! Humour became even greater a plus! I found my true self! I groomed it! I laughed! I cried! I jumped! I fell! I got up again! Lalalala

I understood the diversity of people around me. I started knowing them. Giving them chances. Not judging them.

Huh.Looks like I have started again. Btw. I turned 18 this year
Yeah, right. I was a kid before.
Not anymore =D
My brain is far more mature
And boy, I am tall :D

This post might not be a good a comprehensive one since I cannot write on one set topic unless I have a craving to do so. It might not be good, but my intentions always are =D

Anyways. A happy happy happy new year to all of you. Esp my WordPress folks. You have no idea what life writing and reading you all puts in me. 

I am a bad at commenting. I am sorry for that
And at giving away awards. I will start this year, I promise
That reminds me.. I should write the so called New Year Resolution post too!
But.. going back to college tomorrow folks!
See you around!
Love !
Haibar!

Goodbyes are not forever.
Goodbyes are not the end.
They simply mean I’ll miss you
Until we meet again!

(Title: Quote by William Thomas)