Balderdash Thoughts

I am not allowed to be afraid.

I have written about my heart being heavy, I have written about it being broken. I have written about being happy, I have written about being content. For anyone who ever cared and to whomsoever it ever concerened...I have written it all. And then I stopped, for I had no new feelings to talk about,… Continue reading I am not allowed to be afraid.

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Balderdash Thoughts, Incidents

“It was not so much that he was shut out, but that she was trapped inside”

SO my friend sends me sends me an audio message this morning about how de-sensitized he thinks he has become for a period of time, how disconnected from everything and distant from everyone. I listen to the message, my upper lip curls and look around for a while. I don't remember the last time I… Continue reading “It was not so much that he was shut out, but that she was trapped inside”

30th Novembers

30th November (IV) belated

I got up with sun stinging my eyes, someone banging at some door and my bladder threatening to burst. I woke up gruntled and went out. Took me a whole minute to recognize the fact that all my friends had gone to brunch and it was a whopping 12 26 pm So by this time,… Continue reading 30th November (IV) belated

Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 3

Pick a card, any card

  So it all comes down to this. Making a choice. Getting to a decision. Turning iron heart and let that hate enter your veins again. God, it hasn't been so long since my blood was all clean.. Three years, I have had three years now. Blogging my life away. Writing stories, making up poems,… Continue reading Pick a card, any card

Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 3

It’s a muddled up head I have up here

If you deny or ignore something for so long it starts to feel true and gets incorporated in yourself. Just start pushing all them limits and your mind will start making excuses for you. We all justify doing what we do and then time comes..we don't even need that call from the inside And I'm… Continue reading It’s a muddled up head I have up here

Incidents

Again, at the crossroads

So last night I am all wrapped up in my bed, it's about 10 o'clock and I am reading a book. Someone passes by my room with a characteristic winter *ttttttttttt* of the teeth and I switch the hand holding my kindle and let the poor thing warm while the other hand take its toll.… Continue reading Again, at the crossroads

Balderdash Thoughts, Poems

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept

It's all going to be the same. The dark times, the low hours. Write a different story,make up different scenarios. Trust different people, love different shades. Hide, hope. Leave, stray. It's all gonna be the same. There's that caution in the air. When to say what, where to what.What if she finds out,What if he… Continue reading The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept

Tales of Two

Sebastian and Leah: Illusions

It is a great night, more cooler than it should be. The summers are parting and winters are headed this way. I sat in the endless corridor, with my cup of tea and a notebook in my hand. I gotta finish studying this topic by midnight. I gotta get over it by midnight But do… Continue reading Sebastian and Leah: Illusions