Incidents

Ode to the Smoothie Jar.

I started writing in a journal/diary because I needed to vent. I needed to share my feelings and thoughts and I used to be a child with no friends with parents determined to let that status remain. I was afraid if I talked out loud about the tales in my head, I'd be deemed a… Continue reading Ode to the Smoothie Jar.

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Phase II

I Understand Now What My Mom Meant by ‘Books will ruin your brain’

Sometimes I start talking and stop because a voice inside begs me to (not a ‘voice’, voice). I see the look at the other person(s) face and my tongue slips a little. That is my cue to stop talking. And then suddenly I am tired. Then I just feel like being quiet for the rest… Continue reading I Understand Now What My Mom Meant by ‘Books will ruin your brain’

Phase II

Ode to Idiots

This post is full of shameless self praise and big-headedness,with a score of judgement on every living soul I have met. Those who take offense easy, You've been warned. I am creature of impulse, not of calculation. There was once a time I regretted it, but now I don’t. When I was very young I… Continue reading Ode to Idiots

Balderdash Thoughts

“Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply; those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they now set on fire”

How do you tell someone that you hate them? Look them straight in the eye and blurt out that you despise their very existence? How do you say, that their pettiness bores you, that their presence brings you no charm, nothing at all. That it is worse that being numb, worse than being paralyzed..worse than… Continue reading “Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply; those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they now set on fire”

Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 4

Better left unsaid, better left unfelt

I spent an hour writing..everything. Pouring my anger into my laptop and editing it and constructing all those sentences and blah blah blah blah and a second before I was going to hit send.. I just stopped. Not today. Not now. Have you ever felt so consumed with anger and hatred and total helplessness that… Continue reading Better left unsaid, better left unfelt

Balderdash Thoughts, Incidents, Medicine: Year 4

“Okay, what does ‘okay mean?” “It means, okay, I hear you.”

I've had people as my friends. Few, but yes, there have been some. And I have always observed the exact same pattern with all of them, since I have been the same person and have attracted the exact same kind of people. Amazing people. Everyone was different. They were all strange and exotic in one… Continue reading “Okay, what does ‘okay mean?” “It means, okay, I hear you.”

Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 4

It’s just the strangest thing, I’ve seen your face somewhere…

I am tired to my bones running into the same kind of people every day and every night. Wherever I turn, I see the same faces, same pointless drivel flowing from their lips and it makes my stomach turn. I see them reading the same worthless books, quoting the same quotes, wearing the same expressions… Continue reading It’s just the strangest thing, I’ve seen your face somewhere…

Balderdash Thoughts

I met a girl who sang the blues.. and I asked her for some happy news..she just smiled and turned away

For how long can you talk about the same thing, for how long can you pour yourself out? The insides are gonna run dry one day. And if the pain and anger stops feeding you, you will shrivel up. If you are filled with some other thing this time,only happiness and peace, the same puncture… Continue reading I met a girl who sang the blues.. and I asked her for some happy news..she just smiled and turned away