Truth

i never really told you                                                                                                                                                                            the love i have had                                                                                                                                                                                i am a selfish person                                                                                                                                                                            and it was too much                                                                                                                                                         to give.

In the Review Mirror

There stood a tree, balding
Shaken, dry but bold-
A bitter empty existence,
In the clearing by my road.

What worth is it? I asked
This unevolved continual-
Why live with these rocks and that Sun
With them foreign and those cruel?

But silent, he stood tall.
Old, barren but alive.
And lived in his pride and his ego,
Long, long after I died..

Papercut

Stood watching that blank paper
With girls screaming outside
Happiness, glee or madness
Nor I nor They could decide
While talks went loud and long
A word my pen didn’t say
They laughed themselves into oblivion
And I tore my paper away

Mime

It’s not easy to pretend
Its hard walking your way
I got so strangely lost
Just leading you astray..

Sijo. It’s..a Sijo

I went on a walk, along a long bare twisting road, out of their way
And then I came by my grave, with half-dried flowers on a white slate
This soul wanders free at last, now that my body has to stay

 

(A korean format of poetry, like these Sijo (melody)  I Sijo Sijo

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept

It’s all going to be the same. The dark times, the low hours. Write a different story,make up different scenarios. Trust different people, love different shades. Hide, hope. Leave, stray. It’s all gonna be the same.

There’s that caution in the air. When to say what, where to what.What if she finds out,What if he found out. Don’t want him to know I’m happy, don’t want to tell her I am sad. Guard those emotions, write a hundred stories with the same basic idea and pain that the words start to seem fake and the emotions all monotonous and cliché.

Walk the same roads, eat the same food, make the same jokes, laugh the same laugh, walk the very walk and run the very track. Cry every birthday, anniversary, party, holiday. Make the same mistakes over and over again

Waiting for that tomorrow to make everything right.

Waiting for that Sun after the night

Tell me I talk vague

Hit me, I don’t see your face

Walk away in your cowardice, 

or stay in that mere shame.

You tell me I am not here

I live in a galaxy far away

I look around and see the world

And see your sigh hanging in the air

You tell me I am different and so strange

Look through my eyes, It’s all just the same

 

 

 

 

Curses bring the worlds down

I tell you it ain’t easy as it sounds

To pack your feelings and turn around

First its just bad pain

A hard blow

Lots of tears and hurt

A poison spreading slow

Then the time passes

Cruelly ticking on

Venom reaches your heart

Poor thing long gone

So I pack my stuff and leave town

and sigh as you shut me away

I won’t talk if you ask me to

But there’s one thing I say

You broke it once you broke it twice

This time fear the poison heart’s vice 

It might be not as easy as it sounds

But Honey

Curses have brought worlds down..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Light The Dark

When the light is dim, all weak and frail
It tells us the very outline, I hear
Whether it’s a man, a hound or a fly
Someone who knocks to enter my lair
But they say the brightness shows it all
The colour the shade the love and hate
The hound that stood, the man who crouched
The trick imitation that granted the pass
They fall at the hallway, some get a bit ahead
They walk they stumble, they run they fall
Nevertheless they never get too far
In the house of a Stygian relict
It makes me return to darkness and think
Their Light brought them here, light made them knock
My Darkness caught up and swallowed the damned lot
Halves of the same whole, white and black
Partners and lovers, divided to trick
 I sit and smile at the nature’s game

And as I lean back, laughing up so hard

Light bursts through the window and death does me part

 

Relieved is a strange thing to say – you really don’t feel that.

I am sitting on the stairs at my Uncle’s huge place. Feeling the light coming through the glass pane windows. I like it here. The damp smell, the empty house. Mom’s out. Sometimes I wish she didn’t have to do all the chores and I could do it for her but then.. we are two distant yet so close people. I don’t know her heart. She doesn’t know mine

After grandpa’s death last week, house is all silent and sad. Nobody told me about his death until Friday when I came from college back home and asked about him and Mom said..honey he’s dead. He had cancer, that I knew.

I remember when my grand dad died. My dadabu. And how that broke me. Through and through. He was my best pal. My mentor. One person who knew all the answers. He was old school, loved all his grandsons. Never much liked the girls. But I was the one girl in the whole family everyone said he loved. They said we were like friends. And I realized that very late..

So I am still sitting here. I won the interclass creative writing competition a week ago. And now I found out I came 2nd in the intercollege competition too. Kind of feels strange. I used to be the type that would spread happiness to the ends of the world once it came to me. I lost my cell. And then maybe nobody really needs to know.

It’s just, we all have thoughts and dreams and ideas. People and friends and foes. And sometimes it’s confusing. What to like what to love. What to hold on and What to hold tight. Turn your back on whom and let who go away. It’s a strange world and a very tricky journey..

Now, but never again

It took a while to understand
And a while to know
The road I went on
Was never mine to go

It took a while to look
And a while to see
The person you just buried
Was someone I used to be

I went on this path
With a flower held to heart
The one you laid
On my mistaken grave

It took all this time to feel
And all this time to say
You never loved me once
and I won’t love you again..