A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?”

There is a lot I want to write. And it is not everyday I get such a surge. I watched Kiki’s delivery service. The huge studio Ghibli and anime fan I am… But sometimes these thoughts kick in and engulf me entirely. I feel as if the vibrations have found, finally found a openeing in me to enter. As if somewhere, in my mind, something has finally clicked. The pieces of the jigsaw getting together. Finally. I can feel the energy pushing its way through my veins outrunning blood. It has been a long time this has happened. It has been a long time I felt myself. The person I understand. The one, undivided, complete persona. Yes this is me

Yes, this is me. swimming in the sea of pain and sadness. Flying with the wild geese. This is me. Silent. So quiet. Letting the colours find me. Letting the wind talk. Hearing her truly today. This is me. Born alone. The person who is destined to remain so. And I am making decisions. This is the right time. I have the right energy.
I will find what I am destined to. I will find my own inspiration. I should say I am lost, I think I am losing it. BUT HELL NO. NO!! I am on my way to find it. I will find it! They say destiny and miracles reach you when they have to. Yes. Yes I am a believer. But things depend on how we accept things! How our eyes view and our minds interpret. God my hand never flew so smoothly across this keyboard. It has been months. Months. Months..

What talent do I yet have? Apart from the stuff I *think* I do, I can write. And what am I trying to do all this time? Master as many forms of prose and poetry as I can. Am I serious about it? Was not.. until now!

So what if I am plunging into a life that is gonna throw me as far away from all this as it can. I have lost so much. I might get so much. I dunno. But now I have that feeling. That energy to promise myself that I will not let my dreams die. I will listen to my heart! And bless my brain… It accompanies me in every crazy thing I want to do

And I am going to do stuff so crazier. And even if I might not get it all.. I am not going down.. why? I never ask more. Give me just a little bit. And I will get over it…

(Title: Quote by Einstein)

I am a simple housewife..

There is just a little pain
As I sit and talk and pretend to laugh
As I go around, making tea and snacks
There is just a little pain..
And I walk through the whole crowd
I walk and I walk till I am not found
And when I don't see you standing at the end
There is just a little pain..
I come back, oh yes I do
Bruise my body, bruise my heart
Lose the soul I had in the start
And when I see you oblivious of it all
You know, there is but, little pain...

No. 49

November 2009

Gee It has been so long.. Lost the poetry thingy. Have to revive it. Mission semi-possible! Aye!

People assume I know nothing,
That I’m deaf, dumb and blind
A wreck,
But, ah, not someone benign…
But hear I can..
That terrible sound
That silent screaming
Of those torturous eyes
But see I can..
The thirst the lust
The unending hunger
Of their prodigal hands
But talk I can
To those decaying objects
To the minds and hearts
Of the lost they neglect
The voices, they clash in my brain,
And oh clamour, it never departs
The venom, it runs through my veins
And the pain dissolves my heart
People ‘know’ it, ah, so they say
I’m deaf, dumb and blind..
Or (you ‘know’) Just a patient 
of Special Ward No. 49….