Here I am, Once again

Watching Princess Mononoke for the fiftieth time. It’s time to think back. Think back again. Time to understand again. How old am I? Traditionally 109 and technically a defeated teenager. I don’t wanna lose anymore. A typical human. The orthodox girl. Underestimated, forgotten, neglected and left behind.

We all have beliefs. We live our lives according to them. And half of them are made up. I believe I lose every single person and thing I talk a lot about. I find a friend, I’ll tell the whole Universe. A week later I find out it was an illusion. Lol. Happy as anything. Spreading it aloud like being paid to do so. One bad response. It’s over.. =) So I’m gonna talk about my pain a lot, hoping it fades away or… loses the intensity =)

Does love fade away? Can a god turn into a demon? Can a truly good person ever be bad? Can we¬†deliberately¬†hurt people we so genuinely loved? Can love ever turn into hatred? Do true friends leave you when they are needed? Am I just a thankless git….

The worst you can do to me is take my friends away. As I said. It’s only the friendship I cherish. I draw a circle around me. Once I have all I want, I’ll refuse to let it open for anybody. You give me your happiness I’ll make it double. You give me love I’ll return it multiplied a hundredfold. You give me pain and bluntness. I’ll hold it in and destroy myself. Even more, I’ll write a blog on you.

I just did =D

( I would’ve talked about the movie but that a) would’ve spoiled the fun b) make you snigger at me as I am a huge anime fan.. 109 and still =P )


Written on August 18 2011