Thoughts at 3 am

Well. I was up because of the fast and I had slept at 2 and my head was swimming and buzzing and screaming. So while slowly eating my mind was racing somewhere else. Surprisingly, my cousin, with whom I seldom talk, looked at my face and texted me later that was everything okay with me, Just lack of sleep, I answered

I was thinking that I give people way too much importance than they actually deserve, I consider them special and good on a whole different level. Then I was thinking that I overthink everything. Every single gesture and word just sticks and sucks on to me like a godforsaken leech. Then I thought about people who say my blog is hellish, like disappointing and miserable and sad. New for you, I am the happiest and jolliest person in real, if prose gets the Thomas Hardy out of me, so be it. Plus this is my space I like writing when I am not feeling good. And that, does never mean that you point on me and say that I have to sing sunshine lollipops all the time.

It’s crazy what irritation and insomnia can do ter me

Well. I have tried changing myself. And well it has been good. It ended up making me more sensitive but at least I don’t bother people with it. And I developed a habit of shutting myself out and about when things get worse. It takes me down though, two days in a week I am edgy and likely to explode but rest of the five days run like a train on a German schedule

I live a perfectly normal life so nicely balanced with problems and hardships. World out there is filled with suffering. It gets worse, I hear. But I am glad to be what I am.

And I am sleepy. See ya guys

P.s. Happy Birthday Stance =)

Happy Ramadan !

It’s here ! The blessed month of fasting !

Oh Allah, I promise I will try my level to be good and pious. Pray with my whole heart and let go of all you forbid from. Please grant me the power to shun all the bad deeds. May I hurt no one, may I say no bad word to anyone. May I don’t backbite. May I don’t even think bad about anyone. May I be even humble and be even forgiving (which, believe me, is not my speciality). Please help me watch my temper (because Mom has to deal with it, and I end up hurting her) Please Allah ! Wash away each and every of my sins by the end of this holy month. And may this month leave something so great in my soul. 

And please, help us all, by the blessings of this month, please help all the Muslims being martyred around the world. And protect us from those who befoul the religion under false pretence, from those who use the name of the religion to carry on their hideous deeds. Bring peace to all of us.

Plus, help me survive by dusk, It’s too hot you know.. =D

Love you Allah ! Keep watching over me !

Happy Ramadan, guys and grandpas !