Incidents

Ode to the Smoothie Jar.

I started writing in a journal/diary because I needed to vent. I needed to share my feelings and thoughts and I used to be a child with no friends with parents determined to let that status remain. I was afraid if I talked out loud about the tales in my head, I'd be deemed a… Continue reading Ode to the Smoothie Jar.

Phase II

I Understand Now What My Mom Meant by ‘Books will ruin your brain’

Sometimes I start talking and stop because a voice inside begs me to (not a ‘voice’, voice). I see the look at the other person(s) face and my tongue slips a little. That is my cue to stop talking. And then suddenly I am tired. Then I just feel like being quiet for the rest… Continue reading I Understand Now What My Mom Meant by ‘Books will ruin your brain’

Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Final Year

Letter of Resignation

I cannot help you. This evening I went out to buy some yogurt. I wore my warmest socks and my coziest sweater and wrapped a nice thick scarf around my head because it was really cold outside. Had a chilly five-minute walk. I don’t have many of these left here since med school finishes soon.… Continue reading Letter of Resignation

Balderdash Thoughts

The Dummy Song

I am at the same point in my life when I know exactly what I wanna write about but am reluctant to do so because of the inappropriateness of the matter. That point when I know of the exact feelings and thoughts I want to let go of, but am unable to do so out… Continue reading The Dummy Song

Balderdash Thoughts

Poof…and You’re Gone

  It's a day like any other day, well not any other day..it's a Sunday like any other Sunday. It's raining, for summers seem to have gone on a vacation at the very last second. I am the same person, wrapped in a warm wrap I bought at a sale. Nothing seems to have changed,… Continue reading Poof…and You’re Gone

Medicine: Final Year

It’s just the strangest thing… I’ve seen your face somewhere

I honestly thought I was done with blogging. I mean...really. I mean..you've got your friends on one side, then you've got your studies and you've got your little dramas and you've got a relationship and you're losing weight and you don't care about social media, you don't have that need to connect with any more… Continue reading It’s just the strangest thing… I’ve seen your face somewhere

Balderdash Thoughts

I am not allowed to be afraid.

I have written about my heart being heavy, I have written about it being broken. I have written about being happy, I have written about being content. For anyone who ever cared and to whomsoever it ever concerened...I have written it all. And then I stopped, for I had no new feelings to talk about,… Continue reading I am not allowed to be afraid.

Balderdash Thoughts, Incidents

“It was not so much that he was shut out, but that she was trapped inside”

SO my friend sends me sends me an audio message this morning about how de-sensitized he thinks he has become for a period of time, how disconnected from everything and distant from everyone. I listen to the message, my upper lip curls and look around for a while. I don't remember the last time I… Continue reading “It was not so much that he was shut out, but that she was trapped inside”

Balderdash Thoughts, Medicine: Year 4

Que sera sera..

Sometimes I feel I am way too old to be whining about friends. The moment I start my brain back-flips as the same thoughts hit me and it feels so tiring to go round and round the same circle. I literally feel a bolus of vomit stuck in my gut and one in my head.… Continue reading Que sera sera..