Jacob and Cynthia: Someday

I am sorry Jake
Makes no difference
I mean it man.. Come on
I apologize
Save your breath

I held myself down, I could feel my hands and legs trembling as my temper rose. I repeatedly told myself that it was not my position to be angry but I had never apologized before.. Nor had I made such big a mistake. I meant no harm… I never did. It was a mistake.. And I was sorry. How much will he fight? For crying out loud I KNOW he is a guy but can’t guys just act human? He misses his friend like hell!! The other friends are not like him! I had invited Aaron for him! But no.. He was kicking a tantrum. Not talking, not replying and now in this sick library I feel like breaking the melon of his head into two!

I am gonna keep calling you until you dont drop this stupidity
Ha, talking about stupidity, I can’t look him in the eye just because of the silly fact that I let you hold my cell phone FOR ONE STINKING SECOND. Remind me Cyn.. I am never to trust you again
Oh. Sorry. Jacob.. You are never to trust me again

Oh crap. I looked up at her finally and she was staring at her hands. Great. I had said too much. But.. but I wanted to just vanish away in the earth for what she had done.. It was a get together at MY place. Only BOYS were to come. And she texted Aaron as me! That I invited him! We had gone our ways…. Things had changed… I dint care what and who he was. I just wanted to have some peace and CYN HAD TO DESTROY IT. Why can’t she just.. mind her own business?

Ok. Alright. Cyn. I get it. It’s ok.
Nay.. It’s not ok.. I am so sorry
Are you?
Aren’t I?
Yeah, of course you are. Let’s, let’s call it a day. Come on let’s leave

I will not give in.. I will not breakdown infront of him. He’ll never forgive me. What an idiot I am .. what do I care if a bunch of boys, forget an eleven year old friendship over a girl whom none of them will ever see again? How thick can one be? What was I thinking.. I did that for him and I am apologizing now and he’s acting so diffident Moron. idiot. I am never doing anything for him EVAR.

I’m not going, I have to complete some work
You did it all yesterday
I still have pharma and histology to work on

I pushed the door open and came out into the grounds. Irritation ripping every part of my body. Now I have to face her too.. why can’t the world just leave me alone and focus on what they have in their lives? Now what.. go in face her or go out and watch Aaron smirking inwardly? One day I am gonna end up drowning them, or Hell I wish I had a blender in which I could smash their brains and be done with all this. Groan

You forgot your library card. Jughead
Oh right, what would I do without you =D
You do know I hate you so dearly.
The feeling.. My friend.. Is mutual =D
I am not kidding
Neither am I
Shut up Jake
Try me.
I hate you
I despise you
You are a moron
Fine I’ll pay for lunch today…
Now we’re getting somewhere =D
I am sorry Jake. I really am
Let’s leave it now shall we? Or you’re gonna lose the free meal
Okay, but I wanna know what really happened
Someday… Huff.. alright..

May and Anna: A friend in need

Anna, hey alright I am going to sleep now, after you are done with the assignment switch the lights off and plug my cellphone out of charging, okay?

Will do

May pushes all her scattered books to one side of the bed and pulls over the blanket. I look at the book in my hands, and pretend to read it again. Words seems to be in some other script, language so vague and foreign. I don’t understand any of it. My face has started to burn and my breath is coming on shallow, sometimes the heart takes over my mind and my stupid mind never argues, nor resists. I don’t want to breakdown in front of my friend. I don’t want this emotional display to raise so many questions and sympathy. They all think I have stashed my heart in a sack somewhere. I let them think that. And I like it. That is the me they know and the me I have made myself into for them. I don’t want that to change.

I can’t control myself anymore, I scramble out of my bed and hastily make out the door. Everyone is studying everywhere. And everybody knows me in this storey. I don’t know where to go.

I reach for the staircase, taking each step in unknown hurry. I walk into an unknown dark corridor with wired windows looking outside into the roads and other buildings. I need air. I need to walk. Where people who don’t know me and won’t question as they pass by.

I want to tear my hair and vomit. I need to release all this tension building up in my head, Why do I make exceptions in my life, why do I tell them my dreams, why do I laugh that unguarded laughter, why do I open up to them. Why is my life such a damned mathematical formula that unbalances itself the moment I have peace. Why why why why…Why do I make those darned exceptions…

I pace, fast and slow until my frustration and utter anger passes. I feel weak and hungry. I slowly walk back, down the stairs, down the corridors and into my room. Unplug May’s phone and place it next to her pillow. I pick up my books and arrange them neatly on the table. Make my bed and switch the lights off. Curl in my bed and try not to think. May rustles and I see her tiny hand poking under my quilt. I take it in mine and she squeezes it. A few tears leak and I breathe in a sigh.

He lost you, Anna.. Didn’t he?

I squeeze back her hand gently and smile

Didn’t we all…