Phase II

I Understand Now What My Mom Meant by ‘Books will ruin your brain’

Sometimes I start talking and stop because a voice inside begs me to (not a ‘voice’, voice). I see the look at the other person(s) face and my tongue slips a little. That is my cue to stop talking. And then suddenly I am tired. Then I just feel like being quiet for the rest… Continue reading I Understand Now What My Mom Meant by ‘Books will ruin your brain’

Phase II

Ode to Idiots

This post is full of shameless self praise and big-headedness,with a score of judgement on every living soul I have met. Those who take offense easy, You've been warned. I am creature of impulse, not of calculation. There was once a time I regretted it, but now I don’t. When I was very young I… Continue reading Ode to Idiots

Balderdash Thoughts

I am not allowed to be afraid.

I have written about my heart being heavy, I have written about it being broken. I have written about being happy, I have written about being content. For anyone who ever cared and to whomsoever it ever concerened...I have written it all. And then I stopped, for I had no new feelings to talk about,… Continue reading I am not allowed to be afraid.

Balderdash Thoughts

Prayer for tonight

I have a very heavy heart today. Right now, as I sit by my window and the wind blows through my incredibly wet hair, I feel a burden weighing me down. What do I tell you? I have no words you haven't heard before.   Sometimes, the only way to move forward is to kill… Continue reading Prayer for tonight

Balderdash Thoughts, Incidents

“It was not so much that he was shut out, but that she was trapped inside”

SO my friend sends me sends me an audio message this morning about how de-sensitized he thinks he has become for a period of time, how disconnected from everything and distant from everyone. I listen to the message, my upper lip curls and look around for a while. I don't remember the last time I… Continue reading “It was not so much that he was shut out, but that she was trapped inside”

Balderdash Thoughts, Incidents

Standing Still

I wonder how stubborn and rubbery some of us are. How truly incorrigible. Unbreakable, infinite. History comes and goes, time and again, repeating itself, punishing us for the same mistakes over and over and we still stand there. Tall as ever, been hit so many times but still alive; breathing, smiling, laughing. It's that permanent… Continue reading Standing Still