I simply do not get people. Seriously speaking. And by ‘get’ I don’t mean I don’t understand them or even know them. Believe me. I can tell a person’s thoughts just by looking at him for a few minutes. I can assess what’s going on in the head of all those around me if you give me one conversation with them, Silent or verbal, doesn’t matter. I ignore them. That’s my choice, it’s none of my business so I just walk away
People are so great. They would turn their back on me after all I ever did. I mean hell, half of them never knew about good books, or blogging, or so much other stuff until I came along and one moment of glory and poof, everything in forgotten. I don’t mean I need to be put on some pedestal and draped in gold and silver.. It’s just stings to know. I worked all my life. Read and tried so hard and it is now I am called or known as a writer. Two days writing and I have ‘writers’ springing in every corner of my building.
Yeah I am bitching.
But then you know. I can always curse people. It works =/
But then karma is a better friend =)
So.. I have been reading this book ‘The sea, the sea‘ by Iris Murdoch but the problem is I get to read it only in the bus (my spare time) and it’s a short journey from college to my building. So yeah.. it’s moving pretty steady. I read ‘Under the net’ before. Nice book. Both of them.
But.. I stopped reading a lot many times thinking how relate-able some of the characters were with me. Same has happened many times while reading many different books. I see a character description and I’m like.. hey.. that’s me.. that’s how I see myself. And that’s how I think I am seen by so many others. Then I started thinking, there are so many songs that just.. click. Hear a song and you feel as if it was written for you, as if it was sung for you. The melody just blows your mind away as the singer hits you just where it’s tender..
And then I thought.. am I just.. too common..?
Nobody likes to hear that. We all like to believe we are much different from others and maybe on some stages we are, but on so many fundamental levels.. I guess it is all the same. Or is it just all sensitive people feel the same way? Have we been objects for Literature from the beginning of time? Or are the writers I relate to just one of touchy feely fools that drive me and my thinking processes round and round?
I don’t know. I just don’t like the idea nor the theory of relativity.
Why you no like me Einstein )=
I never used to press my clothes at home. Never. We had a maid or mom would get her lovely daughter’s work done =D But, of course.. things are different being away from home, on my own. I don’t even mind it anymore. It’s fun.
So. I pressed an ultra new dress. Black and so deep green. I never used to wear black so much, but now I just wear black all the time (it looks nice =D) I have to go some place tomorrow and well I even painted my nails black (how weird is that). I just ate a big platter of croquettes with my friend (I fried them). I am just so excited about tomorrow ! (some kind of a ceremony) and I hope things go okay, because whenever I am over excited about stuff…something drops from the heavens to scare me. Huff
Today, when I was at college (doing some paperwork that had me stuck in this city for over a week, alone) I was sitting with this girl, who is like not my friend but a distant acquaintance (friend of a friend who has all her classes with me). While we were waiting, she said that hey Haibar, you don’t mind if I say something. I was like, I might but go ahead. She said normally I looked strict and like stuck-to-rules-kind-of-a-girl who is so difficult to be friends with. I was like (eyebrow pinched up), okay.. and then she said that now that she had spent the whole day with me, she found out that I was so different. So soft and understanding. It’s so good to just sit with you and talk. I could never have believed it before, Now I know why (name of a friend) speaks so highly of you.
I was dumbfounded, literally. Never before had a stranger said that to my face. I just bowed my head and started filling my forms, murmuring a small thank you.
I have been smiling the whole day, as if I wore some sort of invisible shield and everything just bounced off it.
Oh well. We all like to be praised lol, but believe me…
Writers and poets are a bit desperate =D